Dirty Text Messages: Quotations | Love | Inspirational | Funny | Jokes | Poems

Dirty Text Message Jokes

2009-02-23T10:39:00.000-08:00

Are you looking for Dirty Text Message Jokes to share with your friends? Not only do we have them but you can send them as SMS messages for free using the Cell Freak's Free Worldwide SMS service. It works with nearly every carrier in every country in the world, and is totally worth checking out here.

The dirty jokes are after the jump, but if you're easily offended, remember we called these text messages dirty for a reason!

* Murdering your wife isn’t a crime of passion. Premature ejaculation - that's a crime of passion.

* How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

* What’s a male chauvinist pig? A guy who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

* How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard.

* Why didn’t the flasher retire? He decided to stick it out for one more year.

* How can you tell a head nurse? She’s the one with the dirty knees.

* Why is air a lot like sex? It's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

* What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

* What’s the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until you're 14 to cum on your face.

* What’s the different between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather… kinky is using the whole chicken.

* How do you know you’re at a bulimic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.

* What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

* Why is a penis the lightest thing in the world? Even a thought can raise it.

That's pretty much it, though if you have your own Dirty Text Message Jokes, feel free to add them in the comments!

Funny Quotes

2009-02-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
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When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.
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Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.
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Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
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The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
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Best Love Poems

2009-02-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

I loved her for that she was beautiful

I loved her for that she was beautiful;
And that to me she seem'd to be all Nature,
And all varieties of things in one:
Would set at night in clouds of tears, and rise
All light and laughter in the morning; fear
No petty customs nor appearances;
But think what others only dream'd about;
And say what others did but think; and do
What others dared not do: so pure withal
In soul; in heart and act such conscious yet
Such perfect innocence, she made round her
A halo of delight. 'Twas these which won me;—
And that she never school'd within her breast
One thought or feeling, but gave holiday
To all; and that she made all even mine
In the communion of love: and we
Grew like each other, for we loved each other;
She, mild and generous as the air in spring;
And I, like earth all budding out with love.

I Am Not Yours

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love, put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

Dirty text messages

2009-02-21T06:37:00.000-08:00

Students of 5th class asked teacher:
can we have kids?

Teacher replied :Never
Boy said to girl :

I told you not to worry

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A Couple was sittng in tha Garden,Suddnly a Dog and Bitch came and start kissing Boy Janu agar Tum Bura na Mano to Me bhi Grl Ok ok Theek hay but Zara Smbhal kar kahin Kutta Tm ko kat na le.

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We are continuously adding new sweet, cool, cute, best mobile txt, msgs, fwds, and Dirty Text Messages forwards messages. Just read the new Dirty Text Messages and send it to your friends or other people. We are sure that you will like Dirty Text Messages. So please subscribe by email or bookmark this site for daily updates !

Love Poems for Her, a Valentines day messages

2009-02-14T00:09:00.000-08:00

Collections of my favorite positive, romantic, and easy to understand love messages for your special someone this Valinetines.
1. Funny how things can change so drastically
For I admit that I never used to trust
The thought of letting someone close
Only left me feeling sick with disgust

Hiding emotions with brutal sarcasm
Making sure my defense was in place
Never letting true emotions show
For I carefully hid my real face

Then that one day you came along
And suddenly I realized I could fall
Tried to keep emotions secret'
Cause I knew that I'd want it all

Was so scared that you'd hurt me
Like everyone I'd trusted before
Now finally realizing I was wrong
For you're everything I want and more

2. Far away, miles apart; Smiles within our hearts.
From a distance shadows appearcause our love displays our true wish to be near.
Distant "I love you's" I can hear,weeping internally.
Far away, miles apart; Destiny will now chart.

Days, months, years, I'll never depart.
Moonlit nights, bright sunny days, shine down on me like your sweet gentle smile.
Oh, how I'd do anything.
My nose grows cold for you.

I keep a part of you with me,deep within my heart and soul.
I'd do anything and everything...
Far away, miles apart; Soft tender kisses await.
I hear your voice and all the darkness disappearsfor love will always break the chain.

I'm staring upon the moon tonight,wishing you here with me.
My nose grows cold for you.
I keep a part of you with me,deep within my heart and soul.
I'd do anything and everythingFor you.

For you
For you
For you
For you
For you
For you
For you

My nose grows cold for you.
I keep a part of you with me, deep within my heart and soul.
Oh, I'd do anything and everything...
My nose grows cold for you.

I keep a part of you with me, deep within my heart and soul.
Oh, I'd do anything and everything
Oh, I'd do anything and everything...
For youFor youFor youFor you

Inspired by the song, "Weak in the knees" by: Serena Ry

3. Say all the words you want baby
But I'm not breaking down
Your words just bounce right off me
My tears are nowhere to be found

You and I are over
That's road's already been paved
And it's too late for you to realize
What we had could've been saved

Now that your girl dumped you
You say you know how I feel
But don't expect my sympathy'
Cause you caught the raw end of that deal

You're begging me to take you back
The tears running down your face
But the emotions have frozen within me
And I'm in a different place.

A place where I don't have to care
About how hard you're trying
And all I can think as I turn away
Is that for once I'm not crying

4. When you shivered in that restroom we used to share.
I gave you my shirt to crease, I crossed my arms around your waist.
And we dreamt of a better place.... I was always colder.
When you approached those men in the streets, off your face.

I wished their vile stares away, I took you by your shaky hand.
And I'd spent my last pound....
So we slept in that shelter?
Do you remember?

When we went away, and walked the moonlit shore,we got sand between our toes,and we made love in the hotel room,you snored softly in the silence....I told you I loved you?

When you never came home that night after we argued, I even phoned your mothers place, and searched the drunken streets.
You left that ring I gave you on the sheets.... I kept the receipt.
Do you remember when I loved you?
I don't remember when you loved...

5. No expensive giftsnor pompous aubadecould matchthat tiny note, left in a rushSo infinitely precious:"I love you"Just to showhow much you careand think of mealways

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Love SMS Text Messages

2009-02-08T01:45:00.000-08:00

Life ends when you stop dreaming,
hope ends when you stop believing
and love ends when you stop caring.
So dream hope and love...
Makes Life Beautiful

-------------------------------------------------
I m going to write on all the bricks
I MISS U and i wish that one falls on ur head,
so that u knows how it hurts
when u miss someone special like u

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How can i spell s_ccess?
or H_mble? C_te?
or Tr_st, Bea_tif_l?
& How can i say I LOVE _?
I MISS _?
I NEED _?

Heyyy!
then how can I spend my LIFE without \"U\"

-------------------------------------------------
(_/)
(=.=)
(")(")
a sweet little rabbit,
just like you,
because I love you!!

kisses...

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Do u know abt d things which live after death?
Eyes- 31mins,
Brain - 10 mins,
legs - 4 hrs,
Skin - 5 days,
Heart - 10 mins,
Bones - 30 days,

LOVE - FOREVER

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How Much Love In Your Heart....?
CHOOOOOSE...
100 % ( Call Me)
50 % ( Sms Me )
25 % ( Only A Ring)
0 % (NO Answer)

Regards !!!!!

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Sometimes My eyes
get jealous of my Heart!!!
You Know Why?
Bcoz.....
You Always Remain
close to my HEART
n far from my EYES.

Dirty Text Messages

2009-02-08T01:35:00.000-08:00

Latest / New Dirty Text Messages, Dirty SMS Messages, Dirty Jokes. Full of Fun Short Dirty Jokes, Dirty Text Messages & Dirty SMS Collection.

a family of 3 prossies live togetherthe mum charges £30 4 a bj the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink
jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jill's fanny, but poor jack's gob was filled with knob cos jill's a fuckin tranny!
Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples.
Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!
sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test??
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I'll lick U clean.
The fanny poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell!
sex is good
sex is class
whip me baby
spank my arse
doggy style 69
lick me out
make me smile
if u want me in the sac
lick ur lips and txt me back
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
After great sex she lies there stroking his *beep*, he looks at her and asks if she wants more sex, she looks back at him and says "no im just admirin ur *beep* cuz i really miss mine"
John & Jim were having anal sex when John says "I've AIDS". "Dear God" cries Jim. "Only messing says John, I just love the way u tighten your arse when I say it"
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!
The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5 kg. Scientists have yet 2 work out the average weight of a cunt. So if u could pop on the scales and ring me back..
When I was a girl I had a little quim. I sat upon my bed one nite & put a finger in. Now I'm a woman and full of grace & Charm. I can get 4 fingers in & half my FUCKING arm
oral sex can be so fine
when ur in a 69
u start 2 moan
shake & quiver
til u cum like a river
when ur done
don't be insane
just wipe ur knob & start again
What's the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still
sucks after five years!

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Valentine SMS / Text Messages

2009-02-07T02:07:00.000-08:00

Valentine day 2009 will be celebrated on 14 Feb 2009, it’s celebrated every year around the world.As the increasing trends of mobile / cell phones, peoples have selected sms / text messages as a medium to send valentine sms, valentine messages, valentine text greetings, valentine quotes sms and valentine day messages. Hindi valentine SMS and urdu valentine sms messages are very popular among asian peoples.

Cupid 2 represent valentines day

I don’t understand why Cupid
was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day.
When I think about romance,
the last thing on my mind is a short,
chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

O my dear Valentine

O my dear Valentine
Whats life ?
Life is love.
Whats love ?
Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ?
Come here and I show you.

No poems no fancy words
No poems no fancy words
I just want the world to know
that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart.
Happy Valentines Day.

Click means

C.L.I.C.K. means :

C= cant live without u
L= love u
I= i miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK

Valentine's day poem

2009-02-07T02:04:00.000-08:00

Monsignore,
Right Reverend Bishop Valentinus,
Sometime of Interamna, which is called Ferni,
Now of the delightful Court of Heaven,
I respectfully salute you,
I genuflect
And I kiss your episcopal ring.

It is not, Monsignore,
The fragrant memory of your holy life,
Nor that of your shining and joyous martyrdom,
Which causes me now to address you.
But since this is your august festival, Monsignore,
It seems appropriate to me to state
According to a venerable and agreeable custom,
That I love a beautiful lady.
Her eyes, Monsignore,
Are so blue that they put lovely little blue reflections
On everything that she looks at,
Such as a wall
Or the moon
Or my heart.
It is like the light coming through blue stained glass,
Yet not quite like it,
For the blueness is not transparent,
Only translucent.
Her soul's light shines through,
But her soul cannot be seen.
It is something elusive, whimsical, tender, wanton, infantile, wise
And noble.
She wears, Monsignore, a blue garment,
Made in the manner of the Japanese.
It is very blue-
I think that her eyes have made it more blue,
Sweetly staining it
As the pressure of her body has graciously given it form.
Loving her, Monsignore,
I love all her attributes;
But I believe
That even if I did not love her
I would love the blueness of her eyes,
And her blue garment, made in the manner of the Japanese.

Monsignore,
I have never before troubled you with a request.
The saints whose ears I chiefly worry with my pleas
are the most exquisite and maternal Brigid,
Gallant Saint Stephen, who puts fire in my blood,
And your brother bishop, my patron,
The generous and jovial Saint Nicholas of Bari.
But, of your courtesy, Monsignore,
Do me this favour:
When you this morning make your way
To the Ivory Throne that bursts into bloom with roses
because of her who sits upon it,
When you come to pay your devoir to Our Lady,
I beg you, say to her:
"Madame, a poor poet, one of your singing servants yet on earth,
Has asked me to say that at this moment he is especially grateful to you
For wearing a blue gown".

Funny SMS

2009-02-06T06:30:00.000-08:00

Your Funny SMS colection for today :

1. Meaning of Valentine
Do u know what r the meanings of VALENTINE
Ans: You'r
V:very
E:eminent
L:lovely
E:energetic
N:nice
T:tamizdar
I:inteligent
N:noble
E:everloving

2. When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

3. When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

4. Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

5. If ur world is spining Round & Round.
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

Love SMS

2009-02-06T06:27:00.000-08:00

Your love sms colection for today:

1. Without Love -- dayz are
Without Love -- dayz are
"Sadday,
moanday,
tearsday,
wasteday,
thirstday,
frightday,
shatterday... so be in Luv everyday...

2. Life ends when you stop dreaming
Life ends when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing and love ends when you stop caring. So dream hope and love...Makes Life Beautiful

3. Time will always fly
Time will always fly, but our love will never die. Keep in touch and remeber me

4. When You give your heart
When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select someone who will never break ur heart, cuz broken hearts has never spare parts.

5. If 10 people care 4 u
If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me, if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again, if no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world.

Dirty SMS

2009-02-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

Your dirty sms colection for today :

1. Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.

2. Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshole does when you have an orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!

3. UR msgs r like a Girl's Period, comes once a month for 3-4days & disappears. But My msgs r like a Man's Sperms that come Daily or Twice a Day. So msg like a Man.

4. A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth...!"

5. What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

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Funny SMS Messages

2009-02-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

A good discussion is like a MINI SKIRT. Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.

School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya, Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya. Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya, Sari Class Fail, Aur..... Papu Pass Ho Gaya....

Aapke dil me basjayenge SMS ki tarah.,., Dil me bajenge RING TONE ki tarah.,., Dosti kum nahi hongi BALANCE ki tarah.,., Sirf aap busy na rehana NETWORK ki tarah.....

Suraj se achha Tara koi nahi, Jaisa hai Rishta humaraa dusraa koi nahi! Chahe saari duniyaa me dhund lo; Mere jaisa Pyaraa, aur Tere jaisa Aawaraa aur koi nahi!!

Ever wondered y v hav gaps between our fingers ..... So dat 1 day u meet someone who cums n tels u " ye le cigrette pee le"

Harbhajan ne apni Biwi se puchha, "Kya main tumhara pehla pyar hoon?" BIWI Boli, "Kar di na sardaro wali baat, SPINNER ko kabhi opening milti hai...
(your SMS Gateway For Bulk SMS Jokes)

kanjoos ki zindagi kya jeena.. kabhi humari tarah bhi jiya karo.. roz mere sms padh kar sharam nahi aati.. kabhi khud bhi sms kiya karo..

A boy proposed a girl in new way:- Tu pudine ki chatni, main paneer tika. Ban ja meri RAKHI SAWANT aur mai tera MIKA . .

Apne roz humse nai umeed laga rakhi hai, apne dil me asha ki KIRAN jaga rakhi hai, hum roz kahan se naye msgs bhejen, hum ne kya sms ki factory laga rakhi hai.

Good Unerdtsanding Btewene Ecah Ohter Is Rael FierndSihp! Eevn If We Hvae So Mnay MsiUnerdsantndig Lkie Tish Msseaeg, Btu i Konw U Cna Raed WtihOtu Msitkae

Past is experience! Present is experiment! Future is expectation! Use ur experience in ur experiment 2 acheive ur expectations & enjoy life...!

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE

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Flirty Text Messages

2009-02-05T03:28:00.000-08:00

Flirty text messages is good way to flirt and have fun with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here I have collected some of the best Flirty SMS/Text Messages for Txt Flirt. Feel free to forward these mesages to your Beloved one. If you have some flirt text messages (hindi, English or Urdu),then feel free to submit it here by leaving your comment below and it will be submitted here with your name within a day.

Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

I never thought that you would ever do that everything we had is gone
said you loved me said never leave me maybe you just heard your wrong
cause im damaged, im damaged, don’t know what to do, baby
im damaged so, so damaged because of you.

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

Deewane Hai Tere Naam Ke Is Baatse Inkar Nahi,
Kaise Kahe Ki Hamein Aapse Pyar Nahi,
Kuch To Kasoor Hai Aapki Nigahonka
Hum Akele To Gunehgaar Nahi…

Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!

Shaadi k pehle ladka: Darling!! tum nahi to mai nahi... Aur mai nahi to tum nahi...
Shaadi k bad ladka: Aj ya tan tu nahi ya mai nahi!

Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE.

To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget this text, but not the sender.

Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...
I need a person for just time pass

I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited...... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who ll marry me.

if people say ur crazy
Be Patient.
Ur Monkey,
Be Relax.
Ur stubid,
Be coo.
But if TheySay U R Smart,(
Thapar Lagana
Aur Bolna Mazak karne Ki BE Had Hoti Hai.

I've seen angels in the sky,
I've seen snow fall in July,
I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,
But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

1+1=2 eyes look at u...
12+12=24 hours thinking about u...
3+4=7 days in week missing u...
1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like U.

I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow.

Ek bar karo na plz.. kisi ko pata nahi chalega.. plz karo naaa........ muje acha lage ga... ek bar hamari dosti ki khatri kar do na plzz... ek pyara sa SMS!!!

If love is water, I'll give u the ocean. If kisses are spaces, I'll give u the universe... If heat was your love and care, how I wish the sun was beside me...

Can you see me? no? Turn around, can you see me now? no? Turn again, can you see me now? I can see you because you have a special place in my heart!

MY EYES MISS U
MY FELLINGS LOVE U
MY HANDS NEED U
MY MIND CALL U MY HEART JUST 4 U
MY LIFE IS U
I WILL DIE WITHOUT U
I LOVE U
AISA MERI MAMA MUJH KHETI HAIN .

I want you,
to be with me in a nice Restaurant
to have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
.
.
.
“Pay The Bill”

Dil hai tera dariyaa, Aankhen hain teri Jheel
So my darling … What’s The Big-Deal?

When are you going to marry me?
I can’t live without you.
I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.

A smile gives red colour 2 ur cheeks,
White 2 ur teeth,
Pink colour 2 ur lips,
Silver colour 2 ur eyes,
So keep smiling
&
enjoy the colours of life

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Very good!
Intelligent Ho!
Kal A-B-C-D sikhenge...

i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i..i...
i rather look at the moon again

Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind might be dangerous because people say... I’m Mind Blowing!

U luk sweet when u read my message. U luk sweeter when u read my message & smile. U luk sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply. So, try to look sweetest.

I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

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Cute Text Messages

2009-02-05T03:27:00.000-08:00

Cute Text Messages - This page has strict focus on all Cute Text Messages to send to your friends. Feel free to forward these unique Cute Text Messages collection to your near and dear ones.

The sun had risen from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

A memory is golden, maybe that is true. I never wanted memories. I only wanted you sweet as a rose, cute as a kitten is what you are.

Donon EYES PE
Donon CHEEKS PE
DO BAR LIPS PE
IK BAR NECK PE
DO BAR NECK SE ZRA NEECHE
SONE sy pehle
Cold cream ZAROOR LAGAIN..

Boy: BUS aur Girls
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: Auto Rickshaw aur Boys
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain .

Sathi srf woh he nahi hota jo zindagi bhr saath nibhay; Sathi to woh bhi hai jo jevan ke kuch palon mein bhi jevan bhr ka saath de jaaye.

Flowers die,
Stories End,
Songs Fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come to End,
But,
"Precious People" Like "You"
Are always remembered.

Friendship is a silent gift of nature..
More old .. more strong..
More deep.. more clear..
More close.. more warm..
Less words.. more understanding

When God opened the door of heaven, He saw me & asked what is ur wish 4 2day. I said lord plz take care of the1 reading this message.

Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel, and not how u let go but how u hold on.

I ask Allah 2 make u happy, make u smile, guide u safely, though every mile, grant u wealth, give u health & most of all grant u paradise.

Always take extra care of 3 things in ur life:
* Trust..
* Promise..
* Relation..
Bcoz they dont make noise when they break..!!

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Love Quotes

2009-02-05T03:25:00.000-08:00

Are you looking for sweet love quotes to send to your loved one. Then you come to right place baby. This page provide some of the best Cute And Sweet Quotes. Use these cute sweet love quotes and maked your loved one feel happy and express your love.

For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation. ----Rainer Maria Rilke

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. ----Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973)

Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. -----Erica Jong

Wild Nights! Wild Nights! were I with thee
Wild Nights would be our luxury.
Futile the winds to a heart in port, Gone with the compass
Gone with the chart--Rowing in Eden.
Ah the Sea! Might I but moor-- Tonight in thee ------Emily Dickinson

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. -----Rainer Maria Rilke

Love can make you do things that you never thought possible! ---- Phil Collins

Love and electricity are one in the same, my dear. If you do not feel the jolt in your soul every time a kiss is shared, a whisper is spoken, a touch is felt, then your not really in love at all. ------ C. J. Franks

If you don't love yourself, How can you expect someone else to love you??????

The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love.We can never really love anybody with whom we never laugh.Love is in the giver, not the gift. ---- William Sloan Coffin

A life’s worth, in the end, isn’t measured in hours, or dollars. It’s measured by the amount of love exchanged along the way.----- Douglas C. Means

Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties.----- Jules Renard

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.------ David Bissonette

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.------Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never even knew.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.- Aristotle

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Dirty Text messages

2009-02-04T03:43:00.000-08:00

a family of 3 prossies live togetherthe mum charges £30 4 a bj the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink
jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jill's fanny, but poor jack's gob was filled with knob cos jill's a fuckin tranny!
Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples.
Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!
sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test??
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I'll lick U clean.
The fanny poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell!
sex is good
sex is class
whip me baby
spank my arse
doggy style 69
lick me out
make me smile
if u want me in the sac
lick ur lips and txt me back
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
After great sex she lies there stroking his *beep*, he looks at her and asks if she wants more sex, she looks back at him and says "no im just admirin ur *beep* cuz i really miss mine"
John & Jim were having anal sex when John says "I've AIDS". "Dear God" cries Jim. "Only messing says John, I just love the way u tighten your arse when I say it"
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!
The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5 kg. Scientists have yet 2 work out the average weight of a cunt. So if u could pop on the scales and ring me back..
When I was a girl I had a little quim. I sat upon my bed one nite & put a finger in. Now I'm a woman and full of grace & Charm. I can get 4 fingers in & half my FUCKING arm
oral sex can be so fine
when ur in a 69
u start 2 moan
shake & quiver
til u cum like a river
when ur done
don't be insane
just wipe ur knob & start again
What's the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still
sucks after five years!

Funny text messages

2009-02-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

6 things can come at any time:

In our life time
6 things can come at any time:
1.love
2.friendship
3.money
4.death
5.illness
-
-
-
6.susu: isliye karke sona .

Oh shitt.. jal gaya:p

What was GOD’s First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho…

Dont know..

Oh! shit jal gaya!!

We will buy new wedding wring

Girlfriend:It’s 2 tight
Boyfriend:Don’t worry,I’ll put it slowly,

Girlfriend:Push it in,
Boyfriend:Ah..I can’t,

Girlfriend:It’s painful,
Boyfriend:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

Love SMS Text Messages

2009-02-03T00:10:00.000-08:00

Dirty Text Messages

2009-02-03T00:05:00.000-08:00

Dear friend!

Do you take me

2 b your lawful text mate,

2 have & 2 hold,

4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes,

in text messaging

n in poor signal,

till low battery do us part?

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Adult Jokes [SMS]

2009-02-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

☻Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!

☻Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up
above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let
me suck you, dont feel shy.

☻Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

☻The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fuck the
louder the scream,louder the scream the better the
fuck,give me a ring u might be in luck

☻Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she
lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2
stones with the help of a crane.

☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

☻Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.
MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got
my nose in her armpit. Now what?

☻rooster&cat goin over bridge,cat slips&falls in
river.rooster cant stop laughin.wats D moral?whereva
therZ a wet pussy therZ a happy cock

☻LUV D WAY IT RUBS AGAINST D SOFT PINK FLESH N MAKES A
CREAMY FOAMY LIQUID AS IT THRUSTS IN&OUT,UP&DOWN,CAN`T
WAIT 4 NEXT TIME.LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

I will bring something HOT ! Just Hopping you will come back ! or subscribe by email !

Funny Jokes [SMS]

2009-02-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

☻We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!

☻I'M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I'M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING

☻All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.

☻If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

☻When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

☻Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.

☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

☻Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

☻Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

☻Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.

☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.

☻Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

☻Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…

☻Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams......

☻My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

☻Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we just practice?

☻I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

☻Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole…

☻If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi…

☻Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

☻Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis...........................ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry..............

☻Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

☻It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

☻News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

☻God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

☻The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

☻CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

☻Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

☻This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

☻Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

☻I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

☻ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

☻Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

☻Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

☻Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

☻Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

☻I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

☻There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

☻What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

☻What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.

☻I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

☻A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

☻Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

☻What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

☻Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

☻Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

☻What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

☻The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

☻Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

☻WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

☻What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

☻Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

☻Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

☻What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!

☻What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

☻Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.

☻Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

☻Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

☻I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

☻I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

☻How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

☻For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

☻What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

☻Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

☻Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.

☻Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!

☻What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

☻What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.

☻How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

☻Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.

☻Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

☻Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An f****ing know it all.

☻ A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

☻ Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

☻ I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

☻ Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

☻ What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

☻I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

☻ It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

☻ I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

☻ Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.

☻ You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

I will bring something hot! Hope you will come back or subscribe by email !

Happy Birthday SMS

2009-02-01T03:59:00.000-08:00

Your birthday is the perfect day to say I care, because you will remeber me when u certainly make it a big affair, and when you do hold a party... I bet you will be the one who would care - to make ur special day a costly affair!!!!

Go my sweet SMS Sweet Friend k paas, Sweet Galyoon sey ho ker, Sweet Style k saath, Sweet Smile k sath, Sweet Mode k saath, Sweet sey Andaz me kehna!~HAPPY BIRTH DAY~!

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Good Night SMS Collection

2009-02-01T03:57:00.000-08:00

If you are looking for Good Night SMS Text Messages, then you came the right place. This page provides you some of the best and romantic Goodnight texts and msg to send to your friends, girlfriend or boyfriend . Feel free to use these gd nite text msgs to sms your near and dear ones.

It's a lovely msg to a lovely person from a lovely friend on a lovely reason at lovely time from a lovely mind in a lovely style to say u good night.

somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone think in of u some where out there where dreams come true... goodnite & sweet dreams 2 you.

On this cold cold nite,in My small small ROOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of YouR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe!

Hai Moon! Dim Your Light...Hello Wind ! Breeze soft..Hai flower! Blossom Slowly..Hello Earth! spin gently..Becoze My Dear friend is going to sleep!...Good Night.

A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...

I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite.......

At this moment 3.7 Millions are sleeping,2.3 Millions are falling in Love,4.1 Million are eating & only one cute person in the whole world is reading my SMS....Good Night!!!

Good night my very special friend,I pray you lay in rest,And may tomorrow bring you,Much love and happiness.do not think of me...i m in ur eyes. (good nite sms)

Night doesnt become beautiful with star studded sky & full moon,It becomes beautiful when u go to sleep and let stars & moon admire ur innocence..Good night,,,

Don't let little things get you down. You've got many big reasons to look up to God and say thanks tonight. Tomorrow, it's going to be a great day.

The star are out,the moon is up,one more hug,one more smile,kiss u once,kiss u twice,Now its time 4 bed,Close ur @@,And sleep tight!!GOOD NIGHT!!

Bindas sone ka,Rapchik sapne dekhne ka,Bhoot ko nahi dekhne ka,Boleto….. Aina nahi dekhne ka,Aur blanket odh ke fultus so jane ka,Boleto Good Night. (Good Night SMS)

Dont ever give up wen u r down..it doesnt matter if u fall many tyms..jst remember that each time u fall ..il nvr let u reach d ground..trust me..il always be around.gudnyt..u

Name 3 characteristics 4 me out of 1. Arrogant 2. Sweet 3. Egoistic 4. Lively 5. Playful 6. smart 7. Honest 8. Shy 9. Confident 10.Hyper Be Honest while you reply. Good Night

I hope you like these GoodNight SMS Text Messages. Don't forget to share these sms messages with your friends, boyfriend or girlfriend.

Flirty Text Messages

2009-02-01T03:56:00.002-08:00

Flirty text messages is good way to flirt and have fun with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here I have collected some of the best Flirty SMS/Text Messages for Txt Flirt. Feel free to forward these mesages to your Beloved one. If you have some flirt text messages (hindi, English or Urdu),then feel free to submit it here by leaving your comment below and it will be submitted here with your name within a day.

Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

I never thought that you would ever do that everything we had is gone
said you loved me said never leave me maybe you just heard your wrong
cause im damaged, im damaged, don’t know what to do, baby
im damaged so, so damaged because of you.

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

Deewane Hai Tere Naam Ke Is Baatse Inkar Nahi,
Kaise Kahe Ki Hamein Aapse Pyar Nahi,
Kuch To Kasoor Hai Aapki Nigahonka
Hum Akele To Gunehgaar Nahi…

Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!

Shaadi k pehle ladka: Darling!! tum nahi to mai nahi... Aur mai nahi to tum nahi...
Shaadi k bad ladka: Aj ya tan tu nahi ya mai nahi!

Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE.

To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget this text, but not the sender.

Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...
I need a person for just time pass

I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited...... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who ll marry me.

if people say ur crazy
Be Patient.
Ur Monkey,
Be Relax.
Ur stubid,
Be coo.
But if TheySay U R Smart,(
Thapar Lagana
Aur Bolna Mazak karne Ki BE Had Hoti Hai.

I've seen angels in the sky,
I've seen snow fall in July,
I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,
But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

1+1=2 eyes look at u...
12+12=24 hours thinking about u...
3+4=7 days in week missing u...
1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like U.

I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow.

Ek bar karo na plz.. kisi ko pata nahi chalega.. plz karo naaa........ muje acha lage ga... ek bar hamari dosti ki khatri kar do na plzz... ek pyara sa SMS!!!

If love is water, I'll give u the ocean. If kisses are spaces, I'll give u the universe... If heat was your love and care, how I wish the sun was beside me...

Can you see me? no? Turn around, can you see me now? no? Turn again, can you see me now? I can see you because you have a special place in my heart!

MY EYES MISS U
MY FELLINGS LOVE U
MY HANDS NEED U
MY MIND CALL U MY HEART JUST 4 U
MY LIFE IS U
I WILL DIE WITHOUT U
I LOVE U
AISA MERI MAMA MUJH KHETI HAIN .

I want you,
to be with me in a nice Restaurant
to have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
.
.
.
“Pay The Bill”

Dil hai tera dariyaa, Aankhen hain teri Jheel
So my darling … What’s The Big-Deal?

When are you going to marry me?
I can’t live without you.
I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.

A smile gives red colour 2 ur cheeks,
White 2 ur teeth,
Pink colour 2 ur lips,
Silver colour 2 ur eyes,
So keep smiling
&
enjoy the colours of life

12345
1
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3
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5
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7
8
9
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12
Very good!
Intelligent Ho!
Kal A-B-C-D sikhenge...

i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i..i...
i rather look at the moon again

Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind might be dangerous because people say... I’m Mind Blowing!

U luk sweet when u read my message. U luk sweeter when u read my message & smile. U luk sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply. So, try to look sweetest.

I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

We do update this website on daily basis. So Come back for latest Flirty Text Messages. If you like these flirty sms/text messages, then don't forget to recommend this page to your near and dear ones.

Cute Text Messages

2009-02-01T03:56:00.001-08:00

The sun had risen from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

A memory is golden, maybe that is true. I never wanted memories. I only wanted you sweet as a rose, cute as a kitten is what you are.

Donon EYES PE
Donon CHEEKS PE
DO BAR LIPS PE
IK BAR NECK PE
DO BAR NECK SE ZRA NEECHE
SONE sy pehle
Cold cream ZAROOR LAGAIN..

Boy: BUS aur Girls
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: Auto Rickshaw aur Boys
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain .

Sathi srf woh he nahi hota jo zindagi bhr saath nibhay; Sathi to woh bhi hai jo jevan ke kuch palon mein bhi jevan bhr ka saath de jaaye.

Flowers die,
Stories End,
Songs Fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come to End,
But,
"Precious People" Like "You"
Are always remembered.

Friendship is a silent gift of nature..
More old .. more strong..
More deep.. more clear..
More close.. more warm..
Less words.. more understanding

When God opened the door of heaven, He saw me & asked what is ur wish 4 2day. I said lord plz take care of the1 reading this message.

Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel, and not how u let go but how u hold on.

I ask Allah 2 make u happy, make u smile, guide u safely, though every mile, grant u wealth, give u health & most of all grant u paradise.

Always take extra care of 3 things in ur life:
* Trust..
* Promise..
* Relation..
Bcoz they dont make noise when they break..!!

Sweet Love Quotes

2009-02-01T03:54:00.000-08:00

Dirty Text messages

2009-01-31T07:36:00.000-08:00

What is a girl friend?

2009-01-31T07:32:00.001-08:00

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies&division of friends.

Sexual Thoughts of the day

2009-01-31T07:29:00.000-08:00

Sexual Thoughts of the day :
Its not the length,
its not the size,
its how many times you can make it rise!
its not how well it fits buthow often you can make it spit!

Dirty Text Messages OVER 18 ONLY

2009-01-27T09:32:00.000-08:00

Sex is like a maths test..Me plus u..subtract the clothes..add the bed..divide the legs and multiply the orgasms..Fancy a maths test?X At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

sex is good sex is class whip me baby spank my ass.doggy style 69 lick me out make me smile if u want me in the sac lick ur lips and txt me back.

Sad Love Poems 010709

2009-01-06T23:12:00.000-08:00

1. And after everything we've gone through
you still don't care about me at all.
As you let me lay here and simply
let the tears fall.

2. And she'll do anything to make him happy, even if it means its killing her on the inside.

3. I know when it's the time to walk away
When I want so badly to stay
i know when it's time to be with him
when it just don't seem right to me
i know when it's time to let the tears fall
when i realize i did the biggest mistake when i left him...

New Year Text Messages 301208

2008-12-30T00:53:00.000-08:00

Messages 1: 2009 is at the door…
Remember
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
and
never regret anything that made you smile.

Messages 2: New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.

Messages 3: May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,
to explore every joy of life
&
may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,
turning all your dreams into reality
and all your efforts into great achievements.
Happy New Year to you & your loved ones.

New Year Text Messages 281208

2008-12-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

Messages 1: We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room-by-room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

Messages 2: Another fresh new year is here...
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”

Messages 3: The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

New Year Text Messages 271208

2008-12-27T00:51:00.000-08:00

Messages 1: Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Messages 2: A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.

Messages 3: Then sing, young hearts that are full of cheer,
With never a thought of sorrow;
The old goes out, but the glad young year
Comes merrily in tomorrow.

Christmas Text Messages 261208

2008-12-26T01:50:00.000-08:00

Message 1: Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too.
Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.

Message 2: I am dreaming of white Christmas,
with every Christmas card i write,
May your days be merry and bright,
and May all your Christmases be white.
Happy Christmas.

Message 3: I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!

Christmas Text Messages 251208

2008-12-25T10:49:00.000-08:00

Message 1: May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!

Message 2: May your world be filled with warmth
and good chear this Holy season,
and throughout the year.
Wish your christmas be
filled with peace and love.
Merry X-mas

Message 3: I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

Christmas Text Messages 241208

2008-12-24T09:48:00.000-08:00

Message 1: May the joy and peace of Christmas
be with you all through the Year.
Wishing you a season of blessings
from heaven above. Merry Christmas

Message 2: Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

Message 3: May the good times and treasures of the present
become the golden memories of tomorrow.
Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas Text Messages 231208

2008-12-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

Message 1: Somehow, not only for Christmas,
But all the long year through,
The joy that you give to others,
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing,
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart’s possessing,
Returns to you glad.

Message 2: The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:
the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

Message 3: Jingle bells
Jingle bells
what fun it is to
wish our friends
a very happy merry christmas.

Christmas Text Messages 221208

2008-12-22T00:37:00.000-08:00

Message 1: A Christmas gambol oft could cheer
The poor man's heart through half the year.

Message 2: Faith makes all things possible,
Hope makes all things work,
Love makes all things beautiful,
May you have all the three for this Christmas.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Message 3: Christmas hath a darkness;
Brighter than the blazing noon;
Christmas hath a chillness
Warmer than the heat of June,
Christmas hath a beauty
Lovelier than the world can show:
For Christmas bringeth Jesus,
Brought for us so low

Christmas Text Messages 211208

2008-12-21T01:26:00.000-08:00

Message 1: Joy resounds in the hearts of those
who believe in the miracle of Christmas!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and love
of the season! Season’s Greetings!

Message 2: Heap on the wood!
The wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still.

Message 3: Bells are ringing
the wishes of christmas day
the flying snowflakes
send my most sincere blessings
to you merry christmas.

Christmas Text Messages 201208

2008-12-20T11:45:00.000-08:00

Message 1: Love came down at Christmas;
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Stars and angels gave the sign.

Message 2: Christmas is not a time nor a season,
but a state of mind.
To cherish peace and goodwill,
to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Message 3: I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!

Christmas Text Messages 191208

2008-12-19T01:44:00.000-08:00

Message 1: From Home to home,
and heart to heart,
from one place to another.
The warmth and joy of Christmas,
brings us closer to each other.

Message 2: Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

Message 3: A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish,
it grows small.

Christmas Text Messages 181208

2008-12-18T11:25:00.000-08:00

Message 1: Christmas is a special time of year to remember those who are close to our hearts!
May your days be bright, and your heart be light!
May this glorious day of our Savior's birth
resound with hope and peace on earth!
Merry Christmas!

Message 2: A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love.
A blessed Christmas to you!

Message 3: Wish I could spend the Christmas Hols with you. I am missing you so much. May you have the best of Christmas. I will come sooner and we will have a blast.

Christmas Text Messages 171208

2008-12-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

Message 1: I wish you Lovely X-mas
I wish you Favorable ”
I wish you Enjoyable ”
You shall not Lack in this X-mas
Thy Lord shall provide to you!
Merry Christmas!

Message 2: May the Christ shower His choicest blessings on you and may you lead a very happy life.
Merry Christmas to You!

Message 3: May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!

Christmas Text Messages 161208

2008-12-16T01:42:00.000-08:00

Message 1: May the grace of Our Mighty Father be with you all during this eve of Christmas. Have a blessed Christmas and a happy New Year. God Loves You!

Message 2: In this Christmas,
In the daytime if sun shine so shall your expectations come true,
At night when moon comes out so shall you receive blesses,
then if rain fall so shall it going to carry all your problem away from you!

Message 3: I wish everybody a Merry Christmas! X-mas is the good time to link yourself with Christ. Bow your head up the mountain and you will feel the salvation of Christ. May the Holy Spirit be with you all the time.

Obama Funny Jokes 112908

2008-11-29T06:52:00.000-08:00

1. Question: What's the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
Answer: His followers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

2. Question: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
Answer: Deductible.

3. Question: What's the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Obama?
Answer: Obama's nose doesn't grow when he lies.

Obama Funny Jokes 112808

2008-11-28T09:11:00.000-08:00

1. Question: What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
Answer: The check.

2. Question: Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
Answer: The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

3. Question: Why does Barack want higher taxes?
Answer: Cause he won’t be the one paying them.

Obama Funny Jokes 112708

2008-11-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

1. Question: Why is Barack Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
Answer: She the one with the cojones.

2. Question: Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
Answer: It will only have a left wing.

3. Question: What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
Answer: Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

Love Quotes 112608

2008-11-26T07:49:00.000-08:00

1. The girl in the photo with the fairy dress on, But now its just a memory, That child is long gone.

2. He's not the best looking, he's not the smartest guy in the world, he can be a jerk sometimes, but for some reason.
I don't care.
He's different.
I love him.

3. It's funny how one day, he can be the one person I hate the most.
Then the next day, I would love him so much, I wouldnt ever think of letting him go.

Sad Text Messages 112508

2008-11-25T06:34:00.000-08:00

1. It's hard to get past things that you want to forget.
But it's even harder to get past the things that you don't wanna forget.

2. After all he has done to me i still want him to change,love me,and for us to be together again and this time stay together.

3. It's not easy to hold the right love at the wrong time but its harder to let go of the right love because you are holding the wrong love at the right time!

Broken Heart Love Text Messages 112208

2008-11-22T11:47:00.000-08:00

1. The greatest pain that comes with love is loving someone you can't have.

2. If your heart is the strongest muscle of the body, why does it break so easily?

3. Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.

Love Text Messages 112108

2008-11-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

1. Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

2. We had our good times and I won't ever forget them
We made our bad choices but I won't ever regret them
It's like a life lesson learn from these and move on
Even when it's hard it's something that you got to do

3. God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give Him all the pieces.

Love Text Messages 112008

2008-11-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

1. Remember who you are , take a picture and post it on your wall, Because when you meet someone and change for them.
You'll need that picture to rebuild yourself when that someone leaves you... and you feel like no one.

2. When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.

3. Baby, all I do is try
To show you
That you're my
One and only guy
No matter
Who may come along
Open your eyes
Cuz baby, I don't lie.

Sad Love Poems 111908

2008-11-19T10:42:00.000-08:00

1. Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

2. It's so strange how things work. The things you try and hold on to, they're the first to go. And all the things you try and throw away, They stay!

3. I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

Sad Love Poems 111808

2008-11-18T11:40:00.000-08:00

1. I'm waiting here for you to realize
No one will love you the way I do,
You say all the words I want to hear
But your actions make me wonder
How many others hear those same words

2. Before you were just a dream that I had the kind of dream everyone said I would never wake up to then one night I fell asleep and woke up to a dream come true which was you.

3. You make me feel like dancing in the rain oh baby you make me feel like screaming out your name.

Sad Text Messages 111708

2008-11-17T00:40:00.001-08:00

1. It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

2. And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do.

3. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

Obama Funny Jokes 111408

2008-11-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

1. Question: Why is Barack Obama so thin and scrawny?
Answer: If he were any heavier he wouldn’t be able to walk on water.

2. Question: Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because Carter doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.

3. "Barack Obama's two daughters are very excited, because I guess Barack Obama promised the kids that after the election he's going to get them a dog. That's the thing, they're all excited, he's going to get them a dog after the election. And the good news -- Jesse Jackson has offered to neuter it, so I think that's terrific." - Jay Leno

Sad Text Messages 111308

2008-11-13T18:59:00.000-08:00

1. You told me, you don't have any regrets the time she left you nor you cry but I just smiled because the fact is I don't believe you because while you slept at my side you cry and whisper "Does she still remember me.

2. It's not easy to hope for nothing, it's hard to love someone, who loved someone else. And it's not easy to play a hero in a life of someone who doesn't care you even a little, but most of all it's not easy to get hurt because you don't have right to.

3. Once you told me that you love me, and you will never left me ... and you're ready to wait me but I just gone for a while but you were already with someone else, tears fall because you're so unfair because just love me when she's not around.

Obama Funny Jokes 111308

2008-11-12T19:30:00.000-08:00

1. Question: Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
Answer: It was ours.

2. Question: Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.

3. Question: Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.

Sweet Text Messages 111308

2008-11-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

1. Love is like a roller coaster. it has its ups and downs, twists and turns but at the end you are next to the person who means the most.

2. The funny thing is... I can hug guys that I don't like.
I can talk to guys that I don't like. I can flirt with guys I don't like.
But when it comes to you, I can't do any of it... it's not that I don't like you, it's just I blank out.

3. Why every time we get hurt we always pretend that we are fine. We always showed to others that we are ok but when we are alone in room we do nothing rather than cry and long that he's still in your side.

Obama Funny Jokes 111208

2008-11-11T19:29:00.000-08:00

1. Question: What do Obama and Osama have in common?
Answer: They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

2. Question: Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
Answer: It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.

3. Question: Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
Answer: He thought Barry sounded too American.

Obama Funny Jokes 111108

2008-11-10T19:28:00.000-08:00

1. "Barack Obama, apparently, is so popular in the African town where his father was born that they've named a beer after him there. Isn't that cool? Yeah. The Obama beer is called a 'Black and Tan and Asian and Caucasian.' A complicated drink." --Conan O'Brien

2. "What a historic night. The first time an actual black person is leading the charge for a major American political party. I think that says something pretty great about America: we will accept a black man to lead us if the only other choice is a woman." –Bill Maher

3. "Italy is designing clothing based on how Barack Obama dresses. And I said, well, yes, that will connect him with the angry working-class voters." –David Letterman

Obama Funny Jokes 110908

2008-11-08T22:46:00.000-08:00

1. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He accidently smoked it.

2. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: Hillary Clinton won't give it back to him.

3. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He wants to surprise us at his swearing in.

Obama Funny Jokes 110808

2008-11-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

1. Question: What's the difference between Obama bin Biden and Osama bin Laden?
Answer: With Obama bin Biden you get two for the price of one.

2. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He's deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.

3. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: The ink isn't dry yet.

Sad Text Messages 110408

2008-11-04T07:28:00.001-08:00

1. Why do we ignore the ones who adore us and then adore the ones who ignore us?
Why love the ones who hurt us and then Hurt the ones who love us?

2. Here I am in the darkness once again... Getting hurt... But still clinging on to the hope that one day you'll love me back.

3. Why would you rather love her if you know she's going to hurt you, and reject me when you know I'd give anything for you?

Inspirational Text Messages 110308

2008-11-03T07:14:00.000-08:00

1. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

2. A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

3. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

Halloween Text Messages 110208

2008-11-02T05:31:00.000-08:00

1. Q: What do witches eat at Halloween?
A: Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie!

2. Q: What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?
A: No one moved, they couldn't stir without her!

3. Q: Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
A: It was for "tick or tweet"!

Scary Text Messages 110108

2008-11-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

1. The poor Mexican was laying on his death bed with only hours to live. Suddenly he smelled the tamales he loved so dearly. So the terminally ill man pulled himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen. There his wife was removing a fresh batch from the stove top. As he reached for one, his wife smacked him on the head with a spoon, “Leave them alone! They’re for your funeral.”

2. It was d cremation of the
grandma of a child. All
relatives stood in silence.
Everybody was silent til the child
suddenly asked out of curiosity…

“ma, hindi pa ba luto si lola?”

3. A guy walks into a library and says to the prim librarian, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have books on suicide?” To which, she stops her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Fuck off, you bugger, you won’t bring it back!”

Love Text Messages 103008

2008-10-30T00:21:00.000-07:00

1. What do you do when you moved on and fallen in love again but then your ex starts calling you in say he misses you?

2. Angel if you love me so much and have loved me for so long; make me a promise and stay with me forever

3. A kiss on the cheek,
he say i love you babe;
a kiss on the forehead,
says i need you to love me,
a kiss on the neck,
i love being with you,
a kiss on the lips,
you will always be in my heart.

Sad Love Text Messages 102608

2008-10-26T02:18:00.000-07:00

1. In love each hardship is a single brick, if you conquer that hardship then that brick will remain with you and strengthen your love.

2. Love cause pain;
Pain causes Death,
So why do we fall in love
Knowing it drives us to Death

3. I dont write out ur name in hearts cuz hearts break i write ur name in circles cuz dey jus keep goin on and on and on forever.

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 102408

2008-10-24T08:07:00.001-07:00

1. Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.

2. The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

3. There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 101908

2008-10-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

1. There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

2. We set sail on this new sea because there is knowledge to be gained.

3. When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were.

Blonde Jokes 101708

2008-10-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

1. A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool.
The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out.
The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde".
The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

2. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, she has a grenade in her mouth!

3. What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
Is it mine?

Funny Text Messages 101508

2008-10-15T02:53:00.001-07:00

1. What is deference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

2. John: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
John: good, because i didn't do my homework.

3. I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experience pain and bought jewelry.

Sad Love Poems 101408

2008-10-13T23:03:00.000-07:00

1. There's this pain in my chest that nobody understands.
I miss the texture and the warmth... Of your soothing hands.

2. What is better, a lie that draws a smile? or the truth that draws a tear?

3. I love you so much i just cant live on without you by my side,
I'm sorry I just don't know how to live with out you.

Redneck Jokes 101308

2008-10-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

1. You might just be a redneck if your porch collapses and kills more than 5
dogs.

2. Why is Alabama the smartest state in the U.S.?
It has four "A"'s and a "B".

3. You know you are a redneck when the only pool u have is a sees pool.

Dumb Blonde Jokes 100808

2008-10-07T20:48:00.001-07:00

1. A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance.
The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"
She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"

2. A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."

3. Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't the
brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned
to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What
do I do?"

"Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded. With that,
the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies.

Love Text Messages 100708

2008-10-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

1. I hope she crashes and burns,
Literally, I hope she dies.
Not only because she will be gone,
But because I want to see you cry.

2. I got to get to where yooh are;
Could yooh be my shooting star?

3. You never leave my mind, even when I have a million things to worry about.

Funny Text Messages 100608

2008-10-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

1. Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?
Patient: What problem?

2. Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

3. How many politicians does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 100408

2008-10-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

1. So, let us not be blind to our differences - but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.

2. The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

3. The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

Sad Love Poems 100308

2008-10-03T00:25:00.000-07:00

1. An angel may have its wings for flight but for it to be free it needs your love to let it go.

2. I wish I could wake up to a warm smile,
Instead of being yelled at,
I wish I could be held,
Instead of being pushed away,
I wish he could love me,
Instead, Instead... Just instead.

3. When I was fall in love with you that's the time when I also start to feel hurt.

Funny Text Messages 100208

2008-10-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

1. My wife, a flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the oversize luggage.

"When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I don't have this problem."

My wife smiled, "When you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either."

2. A blond guy with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment.

"What happened" asked the doctor.

"Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ballgame on TV," began the man.

"She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answered the iron."

The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?"

"Well, no sooner had I hung up," said the man, "when the same guy called again."

3. Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said
solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?”

“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.”

“I don't mean that,” the priest responded. “I mean, are you prepared
spiritually?”

“Oh, sure,” came the reply. “I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”

Chinese Proverbs 100108

2008-09-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

1. The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity. A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

2. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

3. A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.

Sexy Jokes 093008

2008-09-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

1. Superman was flying over a nude beach when he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing.
Being faster than a speeding bullet he decides that he can screw her quick
without her knowing. So he swoops down does his business. Wonder Woman jumps up
and says "what the hell was that?", the Invisableman replies "I don't know but
my ass sure hurts."

2. A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk?
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the
crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and
leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4.
Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays,
and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
"What size?" The kid embarrassingly says "I've never done this before. I don't
know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him
and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

3. The manager of an Irish club was talking to a young player who had applied for
a trial with the club. 'Do you kick with both feet?' asked the manager.
'Don't be silly!' said the trialist. 'If I did that, I wouldn't be able to
stand up, would I!’

Sad Text Messages 092908

2008-09-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

1. There will always be that one special person, that no matter what he/she does to you;
Or how bad she/he hurts you. You can never let that person go.

2. Even though I've stopped liking you, every time someone mentions your name, i turn my head their way;
Its like, I think of all that we could have had;
All that could have happened that didn't.

3. Think of me as you undo her dress,
I hope you hear my voice as you kiss her neck,
and as lust is screaming for release;
I hope to God you're remembering me...

Inspirational Messages 092708

2008-09-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

1. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

2. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

3. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 092608

2008-09-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

1. All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Berliner!"

2. As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

3. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

Sad Love Poems 092508

2008-09-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

1. The truth is behind every guy
that cant or wont love you,
there's usually a girl,
who made him that way,

they realize to not get hurt,
they have to hold something back

2. There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking.
And I know you'll never return to this place.

3. Let go when you're hurting too much.
Give up with love if it isn't enough.
Move on when things aren't like before.
And remember, there is someone out there, who will love you eve more...

Dumb Blonde Jokes 092408

2008-09-23T23:22:00.000-07:00

1. Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all talking about their daughters.
Brunette: I was looking through my daughters things and I found cigarettes, I can't believe my daughter smokes.
Redhead: Ladies, I was looking through my daughters things and I found a bottle of liquor, I can't believe my daughter drinks.
Blonde: I was looking through my daughters things and I found a pack of condoms, I can't believe my daughter has a penis!

2. Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, 'Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.'
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, 'You don't like getting flowers?'
The redhead says, 'I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.'
The blonde says, 'Don't you have a vase?

3. Down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22 feet Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't plane at high speed at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

Love Text Messages 092308

2008-09-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

1. He's got the smile I fell in love with and the arms I want to be held in forever.

2. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

3. Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.
Love me and I may be forced to love you.

Famous Quotes 091908

2008-09-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

1. Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,

The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
Author: Prospero

2. All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
Author: Jaques

3.If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
Author: Duke Orsino

Dumb Blonde Jokes 09

2008-09-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

1. On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

2. Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

3. Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

JK Rowling Quotes 091708

2008-09-16T19:22:00.000-07:00

1. It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

2. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

3. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.

Sad Love Poems 091608

2008-09-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

1. The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you'll fall when someone tears thew down.

2. I'm so tired of pretending everything is fine
My tears are starting to show.
And my smile is slowly fading away.

3. Ive tried to ignore the pain that this whole thing causes me,but this is the point that i just cant bear it anymore!

Sexy Jokes 091508

2008-09-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

1. A man and his wife are driving down the highway having a fight over the husband sleeping with another lady.
The wife takes out a sharp knife and cuts of her husband penis and throws it out the window.
The penis splats onto the windshield of the car that is following and rolls off.
The 14 year old girl riding with her dad says "What was that Dad?" The father says "It was just a bug honey".
The daughter replies "Wow Dad, that bug sure had a big d*ck".

2. Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.

First drunk: "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.

"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

Second drunk: "So... What's your point?"

First drunk: "Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

3. A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over.

The policeman walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"

"Why? Was I weaving all over the road officer?"

"No," replied, the policeman, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

Sad Love Poems 091408

2008-09-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

1. He hits you with that one last promise, & you want it to be the truth so bad. You're looking in his eyes & you're crying, saying "He's not lying." but you know he is.

2. You weren't supposed to mean that much to me and I wasn't supposed to fall in love.

3. We eventually learn, that somethings, you just cant change; and no matter how bad we want it to be, perfect... it all falls apart.

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 091308

2008-09-13T02:36:00.001-07:00

1. The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

2. The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!'

3. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

- John F. Kennedy

Sweet Text Messages 091008

2008-09-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

1. For now your not here with me, and it does hurt, but I know that if you had any choice, you'd be here, just to make me happy, and that's what keeps me going everyday, knowing that you love me, its amazing!
Author: Jillian

2. Maybe I should tell you how I'm feeling. But I don't have the courage to say anything, and you just wouldn't understand.
Author: BeautyInHerSmile

3. She told him she was afraid of falling.
That she was afraid to hit rock bottom.
He smiled and whispered... "don't worry, i have wings"
Author: Aprils Conspiracy

Inspirational Quotes 090908

2008-09-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

1. Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

2. Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

3. Entropy isn't what it used to be.