Dirty Text Message Jokes

Are you looking for Dirty Text Message Jokes to share with your friends? Not only do we have them but you can send them as SMS messages for free using the Cell Freak's Free Worldwide SMS service. It works with nearly every carrier in every country in the world, and is totally worth checking out here.

The dirty jokes are after the jump, but if you're easily offended, remember we called these text messages dirty for a reason!

* Murdering your wife isn’t a crime of passion. Premature ejaculation - that's a crime of passion.

* How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

* What’s a male chauvinist pig? A guy who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

* How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard.

* Why didn’t the flasher retire? He decided to stick it out for one more year.

* How can you tell a head nurse? She’s the one with the dirty knees.

* Why is air a lot like sex? It's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

* What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

* What’s the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until you're 14 to cum on your face.

* What’s the different between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather… kinky is using the whole chicken.

* How do you know you’re at a bulimic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.

* What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

* Why is a penis the lightest thing in the world? Even a thought can raise it.

That's pretty much it, though if you have your own Dirty Text Message Jokes, feel free to add them in the comments!

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Funny Quotes

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
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When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.
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Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.
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Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
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The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
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Best Love Poems

I loved her for that she was beautiful

I loved her for that she was beautiful;
And that to me she seem'd to be all Nature,
And all varieties of things in one:
Would set at night in clouds of tears, and rise
All light and laughter in the morning; fear
No petty customs nor appearances;
But think what others only dream'd about;
And say what others did but think; and do
What others dared not do: so pure withal
In soul; in heart and act such conscious yet
Such perfect innocence, she made round her
A halo of delight. 'Twas these which won me;—
And that she never school'd within her breast
One thought or feeling, but gave holiday
To all; and that she made all even mine
In the communion of love: and we
Grew like each other, for we loved each other;
She, mild and generous as the air in spring;
And I, like earth all budding out with love.


I Am Not Yours

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love, put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

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Dirty text messages

Students of 5th class asked teacher:
can we have kids?

Teacher replied :Never
Boy said to girl :

I told you not to worry

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A Couple was sittng in tha Garden,Suddnly a Dog and Bitch came and start kissing Boy Janu agar Tum Bura na Mano to Me bhi Grl Ok ok Theek hay but Zara Smbhal kar kahin Kutta Tm ko kat na le.


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We are continuously adding new sweet, cool, cute, best mobile txt, msgs, fwds, and Dirty Text Messages forwards messages. Just read the new Dirty Text Messages and send it to your friends or other people. We are sure that you will like Dirty Text Messages. So please subscribe by email or bookmark this site for daily updates !

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Love Poems for Her, a Valentines day messages

Collections of my favorite positive, romantic, and easy to understand love messages for your special someone this Valinetines.
1. Funny how things can change so drastically
For I admit that I never used to trust
The thought of letting someone close
Only left me feeling sick with disgust

Hiding emotions with brutal sarcasm
Making sure my defense was in place
Never letting true emotions show
For I carefully hid my real face


Then that one day you came along
And suddenly I realized I could fall
Tried to keep emotions secret'
Cause I knew that I'd want it all

Was so scared that you'd hurt me
Like everyone I'd trusted before
Now finally realizing I was wrong
For you're everything I want and more

2. Far away, miles apart; Smiles within our hearts.
From a distance shadows appearcause our love displays our true wish to be near.
Distant "I love you's" I can hear,weeping internally.
Far away, miles apart; Destiny will now chart.

Days, months, years, I'll never depart.
Moonlit nights, bright sunny days, shine down on me like your sweet gentle smile.
Oh, how I'd do anything.
My nose grows cold for you.

I keep a part of you with me,deep within my heart and soul.
I'd do anything and everything...
Far away, miles apart; Soft tender kisses await.
I hear your voice and all the darkness disappearsfor love will always break the chain.

I'm staring upon the moon tonight,wishing you here with me.
My nose grows cold for you.
I keep a part of you with me,deep within my heart and soul.
I'd do anything and everythingFor you.

For you
For you
For you
For you
For you
For you
For you

My nose grows cold for you.
I keep a part of you with me, deep within my heart and soul.
Oh, I'd do anything and everything...
My nose grows cold for you.

I keep a part of you with me, deep within my heart and soul.
Oh, I'd do anything and everything
Oh, I'd do anything and everything...
For youFor youFor youFor you

Inspired by the song, "Weak in the knees" by: Serena Ry

3. Say all the words you want baby
But I'm not breaking down
Your words just bounce right off me
My tears are nowhere to be found

You and I are over
That's road's already been paved
And it's too late for you to realize
What we had could've been saved

Now that your girl dumped you
You say you know how I feel
But don't expect my sympathy'
Cause you caught the raw end of that deal

You're begging me to take you back
The tears running down your face
But the emotions have frozen within me
And I'm in a different place.

A place where I don't have to care
About how hard you're trying
And all I can think as I turn away
Is that for once I'm not crying


4. When you shivered in that restroom we used to share.
I gave you my shirt to crease, I crossed my arms around your waist.
And we dreamt of a better place.... I was always colder.
When you approached those men in the streets, off your face.

I wished their vile stares away, I took you by your shaky hand.
And I'd spent my last pound....
So we slept in that shelter?
Do you remember?

When we went away, and walked the moonlit shore,we got sand between our toes,and we made love in the hotel room,you snored softly in the silence....I told you I loved you?

When you never came home that night after we argued, I even phoned your mothers place, and searched the drunken streets.
You left that ring I gave you on the sheets.... I kept the receipt.
Do you remember when I loved you?
I don't remember when you loved...

5. No expensive giftsnor pompous aubadecould matchthat tiny note, left in a rushSo infinitely precious:"I love you"Just to showhow much you careand think of mealways

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Love SMS Text Messages

Life ends when you stop dreaming,
hope ends when you stop believing
and love ends when you stop caring.
So dream hope and love...
Makes Life Beautiful

-------------------------------------------------
I m going to write on all the bricks
I MISS U and i wish that one falls on ur head,
so that u knows how it hurts
when u miss someone special like u

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How can i spell s_ccess?
or H_mble? C_te?
or Tr_st, Bea_tif_l?
& How can i say I LOVE _?
I MISS _?
I NEED _?

Heyyy!
then how can I spend my LIFE without \"U\"

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(_/)
(=.=)
(")(")
a sweet little rabbit,
just like you,
because I love you!!

kisses...

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Do u know abt d things which live after death?
Eyes- 31mins,
Brain - 10 mins,
legs - 4 hrs,
Skin - 5 days,
Heart - 10 mins,
Bones - 30 days,

LOVE - FOREVER

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How Much Love In Your Heart....?
CHOOOOOSE...
100 % ( Call Me)
50 % ( Sms Me )
25 % ( Only A Ring)
0 % (NO Answer)

Regards !!!!!

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Sometimes My eyes
get jealous of my Heart!!!
You Know Why?
Bcoz.....
You Always Remain
close to my HEART
n far from my EYES.

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Dirty Text Messages

Latest / New Dirty Text Messages, Dirty SMS Messages, Dirty Jokes. Full of Fun Short Dirty Jokes, Dirty Text Messages & Dirty SMS Collection.

a family of 3 prossies live togetherthe mum charges £30 4 a bj the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink
jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jill's fanny, but poor jack's gob was filled with knob cos jill's a fuckin tranny!
Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples.
Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!
sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test??
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I'll lick U clean.
The fanny poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell!
sex is good
sex is class
whip me baby
spank my arse
doggy style 69
lick me out
make me smile
if u want me in the sac
lick ur lips and txt me back
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
After great sex she lies there stroking his *beep*, he looks at her and asks if she wants more sex, she looks back at him and says "no im just admirin ur *beep* cuz i really miss mine"
John & Jim were having anal sex when John says "I've AIDS". "Dear God" cries Jim. "Only messing says John, I just love the way u tighten your arse when I say it"
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!
The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5 kg. Scientists have yet 2 work out the average weight of a cunt. So if u could pop on the scales and ring me back..
When I was a girl I had a little quim. I sat upon my bed one nite & put a finger in. Now I'm a woman and full of grace & Charm. I can get 4 fingers in & half my FUCKING arm
oral sex can be so fine
when ur in a 69
u start 2 moan
shake & quiver
til u cum like a river
when ur done
don't be insane
just wipe ur knob & start again
What's the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still
sucks after five years!

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Valentine SMS / Text Messages

Valentine day 2009 will be celebrated on 14 Feb 2009, it’s celebrated every year around the world.As the increasing trends of mobile / cell phones, peoples have selected sms / text messages as a medium to send valentine sms, valentine messages, valentine text greetings, valentine quotes sms and valentine day messages. Hindi valentine SMS and urdu valentine sms messages are very popular among asian peoples.

Cupid 2 represent valentines day

I don’t understand why Cupid
was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day.
When I think about romance,
the last thing on my mind is a short,
chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

O my dear Valentine

O my dear Valentine
Whats life ?
Life is love.
Whats love ?
Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ?
Come here and I show you.

No poems no fancy words
No poems no fancy words
I just want the world to know
that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart.
Happy Valentines Day.

Click means

C.L.I.C.K. means :

C= cant live without u
L= love u
I= i miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK

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Valentine's day poem

Monsignore,
Right Reverend Bishop Valentinus,
Sometime of Interamna, which is called Ferni,
Now of the delightful Court of Heaven,
I respectfully salute you,
I genuflect
And I kiss your episcopal ring.

It is not, Monsignore,
The fragrant memory of your holy life,
Nor that of your shining and joyous martyrdom,
Which causes me now to address you.
But since this is your august festival, Monsignore,
It seems appropriate to me to state
According to a venerable and agreeable custom,
That I love a beautiful lady.
Her eyes, Monsignore,
Are so blue that they put lovely little blue reflections
On everything that she looks at,
Such as a wall
Or the moon
Or my heart.
It is like the light coming through blue stained glass,
Yet not quite like it,
For the blueness is not transparent,
Only translucent.
Her soul's light shines through,
But her soul cannot be seen.
It is something elusive, whimsical, tender, wanton, infantile, wise
And noble.
She wears, Monsignore, a blue garment,
Made in the manner of the Japanese.
It is very blue-
I think that her eyes have made it more blue,
Sweetly staining it
As the pressure of her body has graciously given it form.
Loving her, Monsignore,
I love all her attributes;
But I believe
That even if I did not love her
I would love the blueness of her eyes,
And her blue garment, made in the manner of the Japanese.

Monsignore,
I have never before troubled you with a request.
The saints whose ears I chiefly worry with my pleas
are the most exquisite and maternal Brigid,
Gallant Saint Stephen, who puts fire in my blood,
And your brother bishop, my patron,
The generous and jovial Saint Nicholas of Bari.
But, of your courtesy, Monsignore,
Do me this favour:
When you this morning make your way
To the Ivory Throne that bursts into bloom with roses
because of her who sits upon it,
When you come to pay your devoir to Our Lady,
I beg you, say to her:
"Madame, a poor poet, one of your singing servants yet on earth,
Has asked me to say that at this moment he is especially grateful to you
For wearing a blue gown".

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Funny SMS

Your Funny SMS colection for today :

1. Meaning of Valentine
Do u know what r the meanings of VALENTINE
Ans: You'r
V:very
E:eminent
L:lovely
E:energetic
N:nice
T:tamizdar
I:inteligent
N:noble
E:everloving

2. When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

3. When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

4. Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

5. If ur world is spining Round & Round.
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

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Love SMS

Your love sms colection for today:

1. Without Love -- dayz are
Without Love -- dayz are
"Sadday,
moanday,
tearsday,
wasteday,
thirstday,
frightday,
shatterday... so be in Luv everyday...

2. Life ends when you stop dreaming
Life ends when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing and love ends when you stop caring. So dream hope and love...Makes Life Beautiful

3. Time will always fly
Time will always fly, but our love will never die. Keep in touch and remeber me

4. When You give your heart
When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select someone who will never break ur heart, cuz broken hearts has never spare parts.

5. If 10 people care 4 u
If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me, if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again, if no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world.

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Dirty SMS

Your dirty sms colection for today :

1. Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.

2. Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshole does when you have an orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!

3. UR msgs r like a Girl's Period, comes once a month for 3-4days & disappears. But My msgs r like a Man's Sperms that come Daily or Twice a Day. So msg like a Man.

4. A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth...!"

5. What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

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Funny SMS Messages

A good discussion is like a MINI SKIRT. Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.

School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya, Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya. Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya, Sari Class Fail, Aur..... Papu Pass Ho Gaya....

Aapke dil me basjayenge SMS ki tarah.,., Dil me bajenge RING TONE ki tarah.,., Dosti kum nahi hongi BALANCE ki tarah.,., Sirf aap busy na rehana NETWORK ki tarah.....

Suraj se achha Tara koi nahi, Jaisa hai Rishta humaraa dusraa koi nahi! Chahe saari duniyaa me dhund lo; Mere jaisa Pyaraa, aur Tere jaisa Aawaraa aur koi nahi!!

Ever wondered y v hav gaps between our fingers ..... So dat 1 day u meet someone who cums n tels u " ye le cigrette pee le"

Harbhajan ne apni Biwi se puchha, "Kya main tumhara pehla pyar hoon?" BIWI Boli, "Kar di na sardaro wali baat, SPINNER ko kabhi opening milti hai...
(your SMS Gateway For Bulk SMS Jokes)

kanjoos ki zindagi kya jeena.. kabhi humari tarah bhi jiya karo.. roz mere sms padh kar sharam nahi aati.. kabhi khud bhi sms kiya karo..

A boy proposed a girl in new way:- Tu pudine ki chatni, main paneer tika. Ban ja meri RAKHI SAWANT aur mai tera MIKA . .

Apne roz humse nai umeed laga rakhi hai, apne dil me asha ki KIRAN jaga rakhi hai, hum roz kahan se naye msgs bhejen, hum ne kya sms ki factory laga rakhi hai.

Good Unerdtsanding Btewene Ecah Ohter Is Rael FierndSihp! Eevn If We Hvae So Mnay MsiUnerdsantndig Lkie Tish Msseaeg, Btu i Konw U Cna Raed WtihOtu Msitkae

Past is experience! Present is experiment! Future is expectation! Use ur experience in ur experiment 2 acheive ur expectations & enjoy life...!

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE

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Flirty Text Messages

Flirty text messages is good way to flirt and have fun with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here I have collected some of the best Flirty SMS/Text Messages for Txt Flirt. Feel free to forward these mesages to your Beloved one. If you have some flirt text messages (hindi, English or Urdu),then feel free to submit it here by leaving your comment below and it will be submitted here with your name within a day.


Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

I never thought that you would ever do that everything we had is gone
said you loved me said never leave me maybe you just heard your wrong
cause im damaged, im damaged, don’t know what to do, baby
im damaged so, so damaged because of you.

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

Deewane Hai Tere Naam Ke Is Baatse Inkar Nahi,
Kaise Kahe Ki Hamein Aapse Pyar Nahi,
Kuch To Kasoor Hai Aapki Nigahonka
Hum Akele To Gunehgaar Nahi…

Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!

Shaadi k pehle ladka: Darling!! tum nahi to mai nahi... Aur mai nahi to tum nahi...
Shaadi k bad ladka: Aj ya tan tu nahi ya mai nahi!

Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE.

To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget this text, but not the sender.

Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...
I need a person for just time pass

I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited...... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who ll marry me.

if people say ur crazy
Be Patient.
Ur Monkey,
Be Relax.
Ur stubid,
Be coo.
But if TheySay U R Smart,(
Thapar Lagana
Aur Bolna Mazak karne Ki BE Had Hoti Hai.

I've seen angels in the sky,
I've seen snow fall in July,
I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,
But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

1+1=2 eyes look at u...
12+12=24 hours thinking about u...
3+4=7 days in week missing u...
1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like U.

I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow.

Ek bar karo na plz.. kisi ko pata nahi chalega.. plz karo naaa........ muje acha lage ga... ek bar hamari dosti ki khatri kar do na plzz... ek pyara sa SMS!!!

If love is water, I'll give u the ocean. If kisses are spaces, I'll give u the universe... If heat was your love and care, how I wish the sun was beside me...

Can you see me? no? Turn around, can you see me now? no? Turn again, can you see me now? I can see you because you have a special place in my heart!

MY EYES MISS U
MY FELLINGS LOVE U
MY HANDS NEED U
MY MIND CALL U MY HEART JUST 4 U
MY LIFE IS U
I WILL DIE WITHOUT U
I LOVE U
AISA MERI MAMA MUJH KHETI HAIN .

I want you,
to be with me in a nice Restaurant
to have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
.
.
.
“Pay The Bill”

Dil hai tera dariyaa, Aankhen hain teri Jheel
So my darling … What’s The Big-Deal?

When are you going to marry me?
I can’t live without you.
I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.

A smile gives red colour 2 ur cheeks,
White 2 ur teeth,
Pink colour 2 ur lips,
Silver colour 2 ur eyes,
So keep smiling
&
enjoy the colours of life

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1
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Very good!
Intelligent Ho!
Kal A-B-C-D sikhenge...

i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i..i...
i rather look at the moon again

Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind might be dangerous because people say... I’m Mind Blowing!

U luk sweet when u read my message. U luk sweeter when u read my message & smile. U luk sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply. So, try to look sweetest.

I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

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Cute Text Messages

Cute Text Messages - This page has strict focus on all Cute Text Messages to send to your friends. Feel free to forward these unique Cute Text Messages collection to your near and dear ones.


The sun had risen from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

A memory is golden, maybe that is true. I never wanted memories. I only wanted you sweet as a rose, cute as a kitten is what you are.

Donon EYES PE
Donon CHEEKS PE
DO BAR LIPS PE
IK BAR NECK PE
DO BAR NECK SE ZRA NEECHE
SONE sy pehle
Cold cream ZAROOR LAGAIN..

Boy: BUS aur Girls
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: Auto Rickshaw aur Boys
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain .

Sathi srf woh he nahi hota jo zindagi bhr saath nibhay; Sathi to woh bhi hai jo jevan ke kuch palon mein bhi jevan bhr ka saath de jaaye.

Flowers die,
Stories End,
Songs Fade,
Memories are forgotten,
All things come to End,
But,
"Precious People" Like "You"
Are always remembered.

Friendship is a silent gift of nature..
More old .. more strong..
More deep.. more clear..
More close.. more warm..
Less words.. more understanding

When God opened the door of heaven, He saw me & asked what is ur wish 4 2day. I said lord plz take care of the1 reading this message.

Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel, and not how u let go but how u hold on.

I ask Allah 2 make u happy, make u smile, guide u safely, though every mile, grant u wealth, give u health & most of all grant u paradise.

Always take extra care of 3 things in ur life:
* Trust..
* Promise..
* Relation..
Bcoz they dont make noise when they break..!!

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Love Quotes

Are you looking for sweet love quotes to send to your loved one. Then you come to right place baby. This page provide some of the best Cute And Sweet Quotes. Use these cute sweet love quotes and maked your loved one feel happy and express your love.



For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation. ----Rainer Maria Rilke

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. ----Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973)

Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. -----Erica Jong

Wild Nights! Wild Nights! were I with thee
Wild Nights would be our luxury.
Futile the winds to a heart in port, Gone with the compass
Gone with the chart--Rowing in Eden.
Ah the Sea! Might I but moor-- Tonight in thee ------Emily Dickinson

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. -----Rainer Maria Rilke

Love can make you do things that you never thought possible! ---- Phil Collins

Love and electricity are one in the same, my dear. If you do not feel the jolt in your soul every time a kiss is shared, a whisper is spoken, a touch is felt, then your not really in love at all. ------ C. J. Franks

If you don't love yourself, How can you expect someone else to love you??????

The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love.We can never really love anybody with whom we never laugh.Love is in the giver, not the gift. ---- William Sloan Coffin

A life’s worth, in the end, isn’t measured in hours, or dollars. It’s measured by the amount of love exchanged along the way.----- Douglas C. Means

Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties.----- Jules Renard

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.------ David Bissonette

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.------Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never even knew.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.- Aristotle

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Dirty Text messages

a family of 3 prossies live togetherthe mum charges £30 4 a bj the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink
jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jill's fanny, but poor jack's gob was filled with knob cos jill's a fuckin tranny!
Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples.
Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!
sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test??
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I'll lick U clean.
The fanny poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell!
sex is good
sex is class
whip me baby
spank my arse
doggy style 69
lick me out
make me smile
if u want me in the sac
lick ur lips and txt me back
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
After great sex she lies there stroking his *beep*, he looks at her and asks if she wants more sex, she looks back at him and says "no im just admirin ur *beep* cuz i really miss mine"
John & Jim were having anal sex when John says "I've AIDS". "Dear God" cries Jim. "Only messing says John, I just love the way u tighten your arse when I say it"
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!
The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5 kg. Scientists have yet 2 work out the average weight of a cunt. So if u could pop on the scales and ring me back..
When I was a girl I had a little quim. I sat upon my bed one nite & put a finger in. Now I'm a woman and full of grace & Charm. I can get 4 fingers in & half my FUCKING arm
oral sex can be so fine
when ur in a 69
u start 2 moan
shake & quiver
til u cum like a river
when ur done
don't be insane
just wipe ur knob & start again
What's the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still
sucks after five years!

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Funny text messages

6 things can come at any time:

In our life time
6 things can come at any time:
1.love
2.friendship
3.money
4.death
5.illness
-
-
-
6.susu: isliye karke sona .

Oh shitt.. jal gaya:p



What was GOD’s First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho…

Dont know..

Oh! shit jal gaya!!

We will buy new wedding wring



Girlfriend:It’s 2 tight
Boyfriend:Don’t worry,I’ll put it slowly,

Girlfriend:Push it in,
Boyfriend:Ah..I can’t,

Girlfriend:It’s painful,
Boyfriend:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!


An Aeroplane asks a Rocket



An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

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Love SMS Text Messages

Life ends when you stop dreaming,
hope ends when you stop believing
and love ends when you stop caring.
So dream hope and love...
Makes Life Beautiful

-------------------------------------------------
I m going to write on all the bricks
I MISS U and i wish that one falls on ur head,
so that u knows how it hurts
when u miss someone special like u

-------------------------------------------------
How can i spell s_ccess?
or H_mble? C_te?
or Tr_st, Bea_tif_l?
& How can i say I LOVE _?
I MISS _?
I NEED _?

Heyyy!
then how can I spend my LIFE without \"U\"

-------------------------------------------------
(_/)
(=.=)
(")(")
a sweet little rabbit,
just like you,
because I love you!!

kisses...

-------------------------------------------------
Do u know abt d things which live after death?
Eyes- 31mins,
Brain - 10 mins,
legs - 4 hrs,
Skin - 5 days,
Heart - 10 mins,
Bones - 30 days,

LOVE - FOREVER

-------------------------------------------------
How Much Love In Your Heart....?
CHOOOOOSE...
100 % ( Call Me)
50 % ( Sms Me )
25 % ( Only A Ring)
0 % (NO Answer)

Regards !!!!!

-------------------------------------------------
Sometimes My eyes
get jealous of my Heart!!!
You Know Why?
Bcoz.....
You Always Remain
close to my HEART
n far from my EYES.

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Dirty Text Messages

Dear friend!

Do you take me

2 b your lawful text mate,

2 have & 2 hold,

4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes,

in text messaging

n in poor signal,

till low battery do us part?

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