Sexy Jokes 093008

1. Superman was flying over a nude beach when he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing.
Being faster than a speeding bullet he decides that he can screw her quick
without her knowing. So he swoops down does his business. Wonder Woman jumps up
and says "what the hell was that?", the Invisableman replies "I don't know but
my ass sure hurts."

2. A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk?
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the
crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and
leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4.
Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays,
and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
"What size?" The kid embarrassingly says "I've never done this before. I don't
know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him
and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

3. The manager of an Irish club was talking to a young player who had applied for
a trial with the club. 'Do you kick with both feet?' asked the manager.
'Don't be silly!' said the trialist. 'If I did that, I wouldn't be able to
stand up, would I!’

(Read More..)

Sexy Jokes 091508

1. A man and his wife are driving down the highway having a fight over the husband sleeping with another lady.
The wife takes out a sharp knife and cuts of her husband penis and throws it out the window.
The penis splats onto the windshield of the car that is following and rolls off.
The 14 year old girl riding with her dad says "What was that Dad?" The father says "It was just a bug honey".
The daughter replies "Wow Dad, that bug sure had a big d*ck".

2. Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.

First drunk: "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.

"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

Second drunk: "So... What's your point?"

First drunk: "Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

3. A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over.

The policeman walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"

"Why? Was I weaving all over the road officer?"

"No," replied, the policeman, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

(Read More..)