Joke Of The Day 07/07/08

a444: There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'

a445: Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

a446: Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

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Love Poems a441-a443

a441: One day you will come running back & i won't know what to say i'll just fall to the ground & cry.
- Homo face.

a442: I swear you're an angel,
When i thought i was dead inside,
You brought me back to life.
- Lyrical Lover.

a443: Someone asked why I was rubbing my hands,
I told them they were cold, because i miss
the hands that fit perfectly with mine.
- Linh.

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Joke Of The Day 07/05/08

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

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Love Poems a438-a440

a438: I had to let you go because i want you to find someone who loves you the way you deserve.
- He's Mine.

a439: I don't believe in second chances, but i truly think we could make it work..
- He's Mine.

a440: If you love someone don't put their name in a heart but a circle because a heart can break and a circle goes on for life!
- Joyce.

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Joke Of The Day 07/03/08

Air Force One comes in for a landing at the airport. A ramp is wheeled up and President Clinton appears carrying a pig under each arm.

As he comes down the ramp, the Marine at the bottom snaps to a salute.

Clinton says, "You'll have to excuse me. I can't return your salute. My hands are full."

"Yes Sir. I see the pigs Sir!" responds the Marine.

"Now hold on," says Clinton. "These aren't just pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks."

"Yes Sir! Razorbacks Sir!" says the Marine.

"I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary," Clinton explains.

The Marine answers, "Yes Sir! An excellent trade if I may say so myself Sir!"

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Love Poems a435-a437

a435: I think someone needs to sue Disney for making girls believe that there's a prince charming in this world
- Refuse2Giveup.

a436: I don't want to love you today. I don't want to love you tomorrow, or next week... I want to love you forever.

And i will...
- Andrew.

a437: Loving someone doesn't mean that we have to be together, as long as you know my feeling for you; as long as you feel happy, that's already satisfy... coz i only want you to be happy.
- Joyce.

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Sexy Text Messages a432-a434

a432: A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
- Eddie.


a433: A teacher asks a pupil which part of the body goes to heaven first, the pupil replies "legs miss! i’ve seen my mum with her legs in the air sreaming GOD IM F*CKING C*MING!!!"
- nicey.

a434: What are the three wonders of women? They produce milk without grazing, bleed for seven days, a mounth without dying, and bury a bone deeper than a dog without getting thier nose dirty.
- nicey.

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