Naughty Jokes 090108

1. A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife
in bed with another man.
Guy: Get over it, buddy,It's not the end of the world.
Buddy: It's all right for you to say, but what
if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?"
Ponders for a moment, Guy: I'd break his cane
and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass.

2. Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey,
Pop! What are you doing'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that
gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning."

3. A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast, the guy: Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me. She looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204."

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Love Quotes 083108

1. I told you I'd be the biggest mistake you ever made and you didn't believe me but i said the truth and your the one leaving.
Author: Bleeding Tragedy

2. To keep it in or to let it out?
To tell you I love you, but knowing you don't feel the same?
Should I?
Should I lose my heart again?
Author: Phantom

3. Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it didn't work with anyone else.
Author: Amber is Just here

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Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 083008

1. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

2. Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.

3. Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain.

Author: John F. Kennedy

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Bar Jokes 082908

1. After she woke up, a woman told her husband, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?
You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled, The meaning of dreams

2. There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives,
while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then? they asked. She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'.

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Text Nessaging Abbreviations 082808

1. I cnt hlp bt smyl wen m w/ u - I can't help but smile when i'm with you.

2. F i drnk ol of ur ters, wud u stil fel d pain? - If I drank all of your tears would you still feel the pain?

3. Sumtyms d pipol u towt u knw, bcame sum1 els & 2rn on u - Sometimes the people you thought you knew, become someone else and turn on you.

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Sexy Dirty Jokes 082708

1. After a passionate night of making love, the guy rolled over, pulled out a stick of cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he then asked the girl on the bed if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," girl said.
He opened the drawer near table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry and asked.
"Is this your husband?" guy inquired nervously.
"No, silly," girl replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" guy said.
"No, not at all," girl nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

2. The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
"We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"

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Sad Love Poems 082608

1. I wanted to tell you to show you,
I never meant to hurt you,
I just wanted you to know,
The way I feel when you're hurting me.
Author: Crazy

2. As the blood runs down her face,
You look at her and wonder
If she's ever hurt this bad.
Author: Tess

3. As you feel the final beats of her heart,
Will you regret letting her go?
Author: Tess

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