Chinese Proverbs 100108

1. The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity. A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

2. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

3. A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.

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Sexy Jokes 093008

1. Superman was flying over a nude beach when he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing.
Being faster than a speeding bullet he decides that he can screw her quick
without her knowing. So he swoops down does his business. Wonder Woman jumps up
and says "what the hell was that?", the Invisableman replies "I don't know but
my ass sure hurts."

2. A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk?
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the
crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and
leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4.
Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays,
and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
"What size?" The kid embarrassingly says "I've never done this before. I don't
know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him
and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

3. The manager of an Irish club was talking to a young player who had applied for
a trial with the club. 'Do you kick with both feet?' asked the manager.
'Don't be silly!' said the trialist. 'If I did that, I wouldn't be able to
stand up, would I!’

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Sad Text Messages 092908

1. There will always be that one special person, that no matter what he/she does to you;
Or how bad she/he hurts you. You can never let that person go.

2. Even though I've stopped liking you, every time someone mentions your name, i turn my head their way;
Its like, I think of all that we could have had;
All that could have happened that didn't.

3. Think of me as you undo her dress,
I hope you hear my voice as you kiss her neck,
and as lust is screaming for release;
I hope to God you're remembering me...

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Inspirational Messages 092708

1. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

2. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

3. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

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Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 092608

1. All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Berliner!"

2. As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

3. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

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Sad Love Poems 092508

1. The truth is behind every guy
that cant or wont love you,
there's usually a girl,
who made him that way,

they realize to not get hurt,
they have to hold something back

2. There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking.
And I know you'll never return to this place.

3. Let go when you're hurting too much.
Give up with love if it isn't enough.
Move on when things aren't like before.
And remember, there is someone out there, who will love you eve more...

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Dumb Blonde Jokes 092408

1. Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all talking about their daughters.
Brunette: I was looking through my daughters things and I found cigarettes, I can't believe my daughter smokes.
Redhead: Ladies, I was looking through my daughters things and I found a bottle of liquor, I can't believe my daughter drinks.
Blonde: I was looking through my daughters things and I found a pack of condoms, I can't believe my daughter has a penis!

2. Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, 'Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.'
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, 'You don't like getting flowers?'
The redhead says, 'I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.'
The blonde says, 'Don't you have a vase?

3. Down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22 feet Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't plane at high speed at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

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