Dirty Text messages

a family of 3 prossies live togetherthe mum charges £30 4 a bj the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink



jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jill's fanny, but poor jack's gob was filled with knob cos jill's a fuckin tranny!



Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples.


Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!


sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test??

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What is a girl friend?

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies&division of friends.

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Sexual Thoughts of the day

Sexual Thoughts of the day :
Its not the length,
its not the size,
its how many times you can make it rise!
its not how well it fits buthow often you can make it spit!

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Dirty Text Messages OVER 18 ONLY

Sex is like a maths test..Me plus u..subtract the clothes..add the bed..divide the legs and multiply the orgasms..Fancy a maths test?X At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

sex is good sex is class whip me baby spank my ass.doggy style 69 lick me out make me smile if u want me in the sac lick ur lips and txt me back.

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Sad Love Poems 010709

1. And after everything we've gone through
you still don't care about me at all.
As you let me lay here and simply
let the tears fall.

2. And she'll do anything to make him happy, even if it means its killing her on the inside.

3. I know when it's the time to walk away
When I want so badly to stay
i know when it's time to be with him
when it just don't seem right to me
i know when it's time to let the tears fall
when i realize i did the biggest mistake when i left him...

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New Year Text Messages 301208

Messages 1: 2009 is at the door…
Remember
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
and
never regret anything that made you smile.

Messages 2: New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.

Messages 3: May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,
to explore every joy of life
&
may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,
turning all your dreams into reality
and all your efforts into great achievements.
Happy New Year to you & your loved ones.

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New Year Text Messages 281208

Messages 1: We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room-by-room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

Messages 2: Another fresh new year is here...
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”

Messages 3: The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

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