Sexy Text Messages a361-a363

a361: A guy gets onto an elevator and begins to ride down to the lobby of his building. Half way down the elevator stops and a beautiful woman gets on. After a few seconds the man leans over and asks the lady, "Excuse me, but can I smell your p*ssy?" "No!", rages the woman. "Oh" replies the man, "It must be your feet."
- kirk.

a362: why do not women fart?
they don't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up enough pressure!
- Baker.

a363: An old lady dies and goes to heaven and is chatting to St Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful blood-curdling screams.
"Do not worry about that," says St. Peter, "it is only someone having the holes bored on their shoulder blades for the wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable as St. Peter explains how Heaven works. Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling screams.
"Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what is happening"?
"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo."
"I ca not do this," says the old lady, "I’m off down to hell."
"You ca not go there," says St. Peter, "you will be raped and sodomized."
"Yes, but I have already got the holes for that."
- Bubba.