Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Year Text Messages 301208

. Tuesday, December 30, 2008 .

Messages 1: 2009 is at the door…
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
never regret anything that made you smile.

Messages 2: New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.

Messages 3: May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,
to explore every joy of life
may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,
turning all your dreams into reality
and all your efforts into great achievements.
Happy New Year to you & your loved ones.

(

Sunday, December 28, 2008

New Year Text Messages 281208

. Sunday, December 28, 2008 .

Messages 1: We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room-by-room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

Messages 2: Another fresh new year is here...
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”

Messages 3: The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

(

Saturday, December 27, 2008

New Year Text Messages 271208

. Saturday, December 27, 2008 .

Messages 1: Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Messages 2: A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.

Messages 3: Then sing, young hearts that are full of cheer,
With never a thought of sorrow;
The old goes out, but the glad young year
Comes merrily in tomorrow.

(

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 261208

. Friday, December 26, 2008 .

Message 1: Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too.
Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.

Message 2: I am dreaming of white Christmas,
with every Christmas card i write,
May your days be merry and bright,
and May all your Christmases be white.
Happy Christmas.

Message 3: I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!

(

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 251208

. Thursday, December 25, 2008 .

Message 1: May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!

Message 2: May your world be filled with warmth
and good chear this Holy season,
and throughout the year.
Wish your christmas be
filled with peace and love.
Merry X-mas

Message 3: I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

(

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 241208

. Wednesday, December 24, 2008 .

Message 1: May the joy and peace of Christmas
be with you all through the Year.
Wishing you a season of blessings
from heaven above. Merry Christmas

Message 2: Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

Message 3: May the good times and treasures of the present
become the golden memories of tomorrow.
Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness.

(

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 231208

. Tuesday, December 23, 2008 .

Message 1: Somehow, not only for Christmas,
But all the long year through,
The joy that you give to others,
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing,
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart’s possessing,
Returns to you glad.

Message 2: The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:
the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

Message 3: Jingle bells
Jingle bells
what fun it is to
wish our friends
a very happy merry christmas.

(

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 221208

. Monday, December 22, 2008 .

Message 1: A Christmas gambol oft could cheer
The poor man's heart through half the year.

Message 2: Faith makes all things possible,
Hope makes all things work,
Love makes all things beautiful,
May you have all the three for this Christmas.

Message 3: Christmas hath a darkness;
Brighter than the blazing noon;
Christmas hath a chillness
Warmer than the heat of June,
Christmas hath a beauty
Lovelier than the world can show:
For Christmas bringeth Jesus,
Brought for us so low

(

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 211208

. Sunday, December 21, 2008 .

Message 1: Joy resounds in the hearts of those
who believe in the miracle of Christmas!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and love
of the season! Season’s Greetings!

Message 2: Heap on the wood!
The wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still.

Message 3: Bells are ringing
the wishes of christmas day
the flying snowflakes
send my most sincere blessings
to you merry christmas.

(

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 201208

. Saturday, December 20, 2008 .

Message 1: Love came down at Christmas;
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Stars and angels gave the sign.

Message 2: Christmas is not a time nor a season,
but a state of mind.
To cherish peace and goodwill,
to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Message 3: I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!

(

Friday, December 19, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 191208

. Friday, December 19, 2008 .

Message 1: From Home to home,
and heart to heart,
from one place to another.
The warmth and joy of Christmas,
brings us closer to each other.

Message 2: Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

Message 3: A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish,
it grows small.

(

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 181208

. Thursday, December 18, 2008 .

Message 1: Christmas is a special time of year to remember those who are close to our hearts!
May your days be bright, and your heart be light!
May this glorious day of our Savior's birth
resound with hope and peace on earth!
Merry Christmas!

Message 2: A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love.
A blessed Christmas to you!

Message 3: Wish I could spend the Christmas Hols with you. I am missing you so much. May you have the best of Christmas. I will come sooner and we will have a blast.

(

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 171208

. Wednesday, December 17, 2008 .

Message 1: I wish you Lovely X-mas
I wish you Favorable ”
I wish you Enjoyable ”
You shall not Lack in this X-mas
Thy Lord shall provide to you!
Merry Christmas!

Message 2: May the Christ shower His choicest blessings on you and may you lead a very happy life.
Merry Christmas to You!

Message 3: May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!

(

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas Text Messages 161208

. Tuesday, December 16, 2008 .

Message 1: May the grace of Our Mighty Father be with you all during this eve of Christmas. Have a blessed Christmas and a happy New Year. God Loves You!

Message 2: In this Christmas,
In the daytime if sun shine so shall your expectations come true,
At night when moon comes out so shall you receive blesses,
then if rain fall so shall it going to carry all your problem away from you!

Message 3: I wish everybody a Merry Christmas! X-mas is the good time to link yourself with Christ. Bow your head up the mountain and you will feel the salvation of Christ. May the Holy Spirit be with you all the time.

(

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 112908

. Saturday, November 29, 2008 .

1. Question: What's the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
Answer: His followers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

2. Question: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
Answer: Deductible.

3. Question: What's the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Obama?
Answer: Obama's nose doesn't grow when he lies.

(

Friday, November 28, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 112808

. Friday, November 28, 2008 .

1. Question: What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
Answer: The check.

2. Question: Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
Answer: The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

3. Question: Why does Barack want higher taxes?
Answer: Cause he won’t be the one paying them.

(

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 112708

. Thursday, November 27, 2008 .

1. Question: Why is Barack Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
Answer: She the one with the cojones.

2. Question: Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
Answer: It will only have a left wing.

3. Question: What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
Answer: Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

(

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Love Quotes 112608

. Wednesday, November 26, 2008 .

1. The girl in the photo with the fairy dress on, But now its just a memory, That child is long gone.

2. He's not the best looking, he's not the smartest guy in the world, he can be a jerk sometimes, but for some reason.
I don't care.
He's different.
I love him.

3. It's funny how one day, he can be the one person I hate the most.
Then the next day, I would love him so much, I wouldnt ever think of letting him go.

(

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sad Text Messages 112508

. Tuesday, November 25, 2008 .

1. It's hard to get past things that you want to forget.
But it's even harder to get past the things that you don't wanna forget.

2. After all he has done to me i still want him to change,love me,and for us to be together again and this time stay together.

3. It's not easy to hold the right love at the wrong time but its harder to let go of the right love because you are holding the wrong love at the right time!

(

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Broken Heart Love Text Messages 112208

. Saturday, November 22, 2008 .

1. The greatest pain that comes with love is loving someone you can't have.

2. If your heart is the strongest muscle of the body, why does it break so easily?

3. Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.

(

Friday, November 21, 2008

Love Text Messages 112108

. Friday, November 21, 2008 .

1. Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

2. We had our good times and I won't ever forget them
We made our bad choices but I won't ever regret them
It's like a life lesson learn from these and move on
Even when it's hard it's something that you got to do

3. God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give Him all the pieces.

(

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Love Text Messages 112008

. Thursday, November 20, 2008 .

1. Remember who you are , take a picture and post it on your wall, Because when you meet someone and change for them.
You'll need that picture to rebuild yourself when that someone leaves you... and you feel like no one.

2. When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.

3. Baby, all I do is try
To show you
That you're my
One and only guy
No matter
Who may come along
Open your eyes
Cuz baby, I don't lie.

(

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sad Love Poems 111908

. Wednesday, November 19, 2008 .

1. Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

2. It's so strange how things work. The things you try and hold on to, they're the first to go. And all the things you try and throw away, They stay!

3. I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

(

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Sad Love Poems 111808

. Tuesday, November 18, 2008 .

1. I'm waiting here for you to realize
No one will love you the way I do,
You say all the words I want to hear
But your actions make me wonder
How many others hear those same words

2. Before you were just a dream that I had the kind of dream everyone said I would never wake up to then one night I fell asleep and woke up to a dream come true which was you.

3. You make me feel like dancing in the rain oh baby you make me feel like screaming out your name.

(

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sad Text Messages 111708

. Monday, November 17, 2008 .

1. It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

2. And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do.

3. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

(

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 111408

. Thursday, November 13, 2008 .

1. Question: Why is Barack Obama so thin and scrawny?
Answer: If he were any heavier he wouldn’t be able to walk on water.

2. Question: Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because Carter doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.

3. "Barack Obama's two daughters are very excited, because I guess Barack Obama promised the kids that after the election he's going to get them a dog. That's the thing, they're all excited, he's going to get them a dog after the election. And the good news -- Jesse Jackson has offered to neuter it, so I think that's terrific." - Jay Leno

(

Sad Text Messages 111308

1. You told me, you don't have any regrets the time she left you nor you cry but I just smiled because the fact is I don't believe you because while you slept at my side you cry and whisper "Does she still remember me.

2. It's not easy to hope for nothing, it's hard to love someone, who loved someone else. And it's not easy to play a hero in a life of someone who doesn't care you even a little, but most of all it's not easy to get hurt because you don't have right to.

3. Once you told me that you love me, and you will never left me ... and you're ready to wait me but I just gone for a while but you were already with someone else, tears fall because you're so unfair because just love me when she's not around.

(

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 111308

. Wednesday, November 12, 2008 .

1. Question: Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
Answer: It was ours.

2. Question: Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.

3. Question: Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.

(

Sweet Text Messages 111308


1. Love is like a roller coaster. it has its ups and downs, twists and turns but at the end you are next to the person who means the most.

2. The funny thing is... I can hug guys that I don't like.
I can talk to guys that I don't like. I can flirt with guys I don't like.
But when it comes to you, I can't do any of it... it's not that I don't like you, it's just I blank out.

3. Why every time we get hurt we always pretend that we are fine. We always showed to others that we are ok but when we are alone in room we do nothing rather than cry and long that he's still in your side.

(

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 111208

. Tuesday, November 11, 2008 .

1. Question: What do Obama and Osama have in common?
Answer: They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

2. Question: Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
Answer: It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.

3. Question: Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
Answer: He thought Barry sounded too American.

(

Monday, November 10, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 111108

. Monday, November 10, 2008 .

1. "Barack Obama, apparently, is so popular in the African town where his father was born that they've named a beer after him there. Isn't that cool? Yeah. The Obama beer is called a 'Black and Tan and Asian and Caucasian.' A complicated drink." --Conan O'Brien

2. "What a historic night. The first time an actual black person is leading the charge for a major American political party. I think that says something pretty great about America: we will accept a black man to lead us if the only other choice is a woman." –Bill Maher

3. "Italy is designing clothing based on how Barack Obama dresses. And I said, well, yes, that will connect him with the angry working-class voters." –David Letterman

(

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 110908

. Saturday, November 8, 2008 .

1. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He accidently smoked it.

2. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: Hillary Clinton won't give it back to him.

3. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He wants to surprise us at his swearing in.

(

Friday, November 7, 2008

Obama Funny Jokes 110808

. Friday, November 7, 2008 .

1. Question: What's the difference between Obama bin Biden and Osama bin Laden?
Answer: With Obama bin Biden you get two for the price of one.

2. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He's deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.

3. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: The ink isn't dry yet.

(

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Sad Text Messages 110408

. Tuesday, November 4, 2008 .

1. Why do we ignore the ones who adore us and then adore the ones who ignore us?
Why love the ones who hurt us and then Hurt the ones who love us?

2. Here I am in the darkness once again... Getting hurt... But still clinging on to the hope that one day you'll love me back.

3. Why would you rather love her if you know she's going to hurt you, and reject me when you know I'd give anything for you?

(

Monday, November 3, 2008

Inspirational Text Messages 110308

. Monday, November 3, 2008 .

1. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

2. A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

3. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

(

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Halloween Text Messages 110208

. Sunday, November 2, 2008 .

1. Q: What do witches eat at Halloween?
A: Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie!

2. Q: What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?
A: No one moved, they couldn't stir without her!

3. Q: Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
A: It was for "tick or tweet"!

(

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Scary Text Messages 110108

. Saturday, November 1, 2008 .

1. The poor Mexican was laying on his death bed with only hours to live. Suddenly he smelled the tamales he loved so dearly. So the terminally ill man pulled himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen. There his wife was removing a fresh batch from the stove top. As he reached for one, his wife smacked him on the head with a spoon, “Leave them alone! They’re for your funeral.”

2. It was d cremation of the
grandma of a child. All
relatives stood in silence.
Everybody was silent til the child
suddenly asked out of curiosity…

“ma, hindi pa ba luto si lola?”

3. A guy walks into a library and says to the prim librarian, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have books on suicide?” To which, she stops her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Fuck off, you bugger, you won’t bring it back!”

(

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Love Text Messages 103008

. Thursday, October 30, 2008 .

1. What do you do when you moved on and fallen in love again but then your ex starts calling you in say he misses you?

2. Angel if you love me so much and have loved me for so long; make me a promise and stay with me forever

3. A kiss on the cheek,
he say i love you babe;
a kiss on the forehead,
says i need you to love me,
a kiss on the neck,
i love being with you,
a kiss on the lips,
you will always be in my heart.

(

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sad Love Text Messages 102608

. Sunday, October 26, 2008 .

1. In love each hardship is a single brick, if you conquer that hardship then that brick will remain with you and strengthen your love.

2. Love cause pain;
Pain causes Death,
So why do we fall in love
Knowing it drives us to Death

3. I dont write out ur name in hearts cuz hearts break i write ur name in circles cuz dey jus keep goin on and on and on forever.

(

Friday, October 24, 2008

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 102408

. Friday, October 24, 2008 .

1. Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.

2. The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

3. There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

(

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 101908

. Saturday, October 18, 2008 .

1. There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

2. We set sail on this new sea because there is knowledge to be gained.

3. When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were.

(

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Blonde Jokes 101708

. Thursday, October 16, 2008 .

1. A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool.
The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out.
The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde".
The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

2. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, she has a grenade in her mouth!

3. What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
Is it mine?

(

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Funny Text Messages 101508

. Wednesday, October 15, 2008 .

1. What is deference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

2. John: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
John: good, because i didn't do my homework.

3. I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experience pain and bought jewelry.

(

Monday, October 13, 2008

Sad Love Poems 101408

. Monday, October 13, 2008 .

1. There's this pain in my chest that nobody understands.
I miss the texture and the warmth... Of your soothing hands.

2. What is better, a lie that draws a smile? or the truth that draws a tear?

3. I love you so much i just cant live on without you by my side,
I'm sorry I just don't know how to live with out you.

(

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Redneck Jokes 101308

. Sunday, October 12, 2008 .

1. You might just be a redneck if your porch collapses and kills more than 5

2. Why is Alabama the smartest state in the U.S.?
It has four "A"'s and a "B".

3. You know you are a redneck when the only pool u have is a sees pool.

(

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Dumb Blonde Jokes 100808

. Tuesday, October 7, 2008 .

1. A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance.
The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"
She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"

2. A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."

3. Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't the
brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned
to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What
do I do?"

"Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded. With that,
the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies.

(

Love Text Messages 100708


1. I hope she crashes and burns,
Literally, I hope she dies.
Not only because she will be gone,
But because I want to see you cry.

2. I got to get to where yooh are;
Could yooh be my shooting star?

3. You never leave my mind, even when I have a million things to worry about.

(

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Funny Text Messages 100608

. Sunday, October 5, 2008 .

1. Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?
Patient: What problem?

2. Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

3. How many politicians does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

(

Friday, October 3, 2008

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 100408

. Friday, October 3, 2008 .

1. So, let us not be blind to our differences - but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.

2. The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

3. The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

(

Sad Love Poems 100308


1. An angel may have its wings for flight but for it to be free it needs your love to let it go.

2. I wish I could wake up to a warm smile,
Instead of being yelled at,
I wish I could be held,
Instead of being pushed away,
I wish he could love me,
Instead, Instead... Just instead.

3. When I was fall in love with you that's the time when I also start to feel hurt.

(

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Funny Text Messages 100208

1. My wife, a flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the oversize luggage.

"When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I don't have this problem."

My wife smiled, "When you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either."

2. A blond guy with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment.

"What happened" asked the doctor.

"Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ballgame on TV," began the man.

"She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answered the iron."

The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?"

"Well, no sooner had I hung up," said the man, "when the same guy called again."

3. Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said
solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?”

“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.”

“I don't mean that,” the priest responded. “I mean, are you prepared

“Oh, sure,” came the reply. “I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”

(

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Chinese Proverbs 100108

. Tuesday, September 30, 2008 .

1. The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity. A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

2. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

3. A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Sexy Jokes 093008

. Monday, September 29, 2008 .

1. Superman was flying over a nude beach when he noticed Wonder Woman sunbathing.
Being faster than a speeding bullet he decides that he can screw her quick
without her knowing. So he swoops down does his business. Wonder Woman jumps up
and says "what the hell was that?", the Invisableman replies "I don't know but
my ass sure hurts."

2. A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk?
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the
crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and
leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4.
Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays,
and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
"What size?" The kid embarrassingly says "I've never done this before. I don't
know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him
and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

3. The manager of an Irish club was talking to a young player who had applied for
a trial with the club. 'Do you kick with both feet?' asked the manager.
'Don't be silly!' said the trialist. 'If I did that, I wouldn't be able to
stand up, would I!’

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sad Text Messages 092908

. Sunday, September 28, 2008 .

1. There will always be that one special person, that no matter what he/she does to you;
Or how bad she/he hurts you. You can never let that person go.

2. Even though I've stopped liking you, every time someone mentions your name, i turn my head their way;
Its like, I think of all that we could have had;
All that could have happened that didn't.

3. Think of me as you undo her dress,
I hope you hear my voice as you kiss her neck,
and as lust is screaming for release;
I hope to God you're remembering me...

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Inspirational Messages 092708

. Friday, September 26, 2008 .

1. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

2. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

3. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 092608

. Thursday, September 25, 2008 .

1. All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Berliner!"

2. As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

3. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sad Love Poems 092508

. Wednesday, September 24, 2008 .

1. The truth is behind every guy
that cant or wont love you,
there's usually a girl,
who made him that way,

they realize to not get hurt,
they have to hold something back

2. There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking.
And I know you'll never return to this place.

3. Let go when you're hurting too much.
Give up with love if it isn't enough.
Move on when things aren't like before.
And remember, there is someone out there, who will love you eve more...

(

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dumb Blonde Jokes 092408

. Tuesday, September 23, 2008 .

1. Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all talking about their daughters.
Brunette: I was looking through my daughters things and I found cigarettes, I can't believe my daughter smokes.
Redhead: Ladies, I was looking through my daughters things and I found a bottle of liquor, I can't believe my daughter drinks.
Blonde: I was looking through my daughters things and I found a pack of condoms, I can't believe my daughter has a penis!

2. Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, 'Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.'
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, 'You don't like getting flowers?'
The redhead says, 'I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.'
The blonde says, 'Don't you have a vase?

3. Down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22 feet Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't plane at high speed at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

Love Text Messages 092308

. Monday, September 22, 2008 .

1. He's got the smile I fell in love with and the arms I want to be held in forever.

2. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

3. Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.
Love me and I may be forced to love you.

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Famous Quotes 091908

. Thursday, September 18, 2008 .

1. Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,

The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
Author: Prospero

2. All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
Author: Jaques

3.If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
Author: Duke Orsino

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Dumb Blonde Jokes 09

. Wednesday, September 17, 2008 .

1. On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

2. Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

3. Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

(

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

JK Rowling Quotes 091708

. Tuesday, September 16, 2008 .

1. It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

2. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

3. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.

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Monday, September 15, 2008

Sad Love Poems 091608

. Monday, September 15, 2008 .

1. The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you'll fall when someone tears thew down.

2. I'm so tired of pretending everything is fine
My tears are starting to show.
And my smile is slowly fading away.

3. Ive tried to ignore the pain that this whole thing causes me,but this is the point that i just cant bear it anymore!

(

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sexy Jokes 091508

. Sunday, September 14, 2008 .

1. A man and his wife are driving down the highway having a fight over the husband sleeping with another lady.
The wife takes out a sharp knife and cuts of her husband penis and throws it out the window.
The penis splats onto the windshield of the car that is following and rolls off.
The 14 year old girl riding with her dad says "What was that Dad?" The father says "It was just a bug honey".
The daughter replies "Wow Dad, that bug sure had a big d*ck".

2. Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.

First drunk: "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.

"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

Second drunk: "So... What's your point?"

First drunk: "Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

3. A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over.

The policeman walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"

"Why? Was I weaving all over the road officer?"

"No," replied, the policeman, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Sad Love Poems 091408

. Saturday, September 13, 2008 .

1. He hits you with that one last promise, & you want it to be the truth so bad. You're looking in his eyes & you're crying, saying "He's not lying." but you know he is.

2. You weren't supposed to mean that much to me and I wasn't supposed to fall in love.

3. We eventually learn, that somethings, you just cant change; and no matter how bad we want it to be, perfect... it all falls apart.

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Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 091308

1. The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

2. The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!'

3. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

- John F. Kennedy

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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Sweet Text Messages 091008

. Tuesday, September 9, 2008 .

1. For now your not here with me, and it does hurt, but I know that if you had any choice, you'd be here, just to make me happy, and that's what keeps me going everyday, knowing that you love me, its amazing!
Author: Jillian

2. Maybe I should tell you how I'm feeling. But I don't have the courage to say anything, and you just wouldn't understand.
Author: BeautyInHerSmile

3. She told him she was afraid of falling.
That she was afraid to hit rock bottom.
He smiled and whispered... "don't worry, i have wings"
Author: Aprils Conspiracy

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Monday, September 8, 2008

Inspirational Quotes 090908

. Monday, September 8, 2008 .

1. Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

2. Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

3. Entropy isn't what it used to be.

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Saturday, September 6, 2008

Text Messaging Abbreviations 090708

. Saturday, September 6, 2008 .

1. Hw cn luv gntly lift u off ur feet bt cn also roughtly throw u away - How can love gently lift you off your feet but can also roughly throw you away.

2. Lyf w/out u s worthless 2 live - Life without you is worthless to live.

3. Wish i cud tel u now, bt i dn't knw how - Wish i could tell you now, but i don't know how.

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Friday, September 5, 2008

Funny Text Messages 090608

. Friday, September 5, 2008 .

1. Question: What did the penis say to the condom?
Answer: Cover me im going in!

2. Question: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
Answer: Because their plugged into a genius!

3. Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Answer: Mega-saur-ass

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Thursday, September 4, 2008

Sad Love Poems 090508

. Thursday, September 4, 2008 .

1. I try to forget our past we had together, but it just keeps coming back to me and it won't ever leave me.
Because, It's a memory that my heart won't forget at all.

2. You see me moving, you feel my breath, you hear me talking, but it doesn't mean im alive, because the truth is... inside i'm totally dead.
My heart doesn't have a beat since you've been gone.

3. You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you are not part of that happiness.

(

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Blonde Jokes 090408

1. A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class."
"I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?"
The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"

2. An office executive was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.
Office executive: If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?
Blonde: I'd have to say the living one.

3. A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
So he told her all she had to do was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Short Love Poems 090308

. Tuesday, September 2, 2008 .

1. When you say "I Love You," it floats and drifts in my mind forever.
Author: Justin

2. All i want is for ONE guy to prove to me they're not all the same.
Author: HaYdEnSDrEaMGiRl

3.Sometimes the person you want most is the one you're better off without.
Author: MissingHim

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Monday, September 1, 2008

Couple Jokes 090208

1. One day, Jude and Rose were having a petty argument.
After shouting back and forth, Rose finally says, "Let's make a deal. To end this argument, you admit that I am right and I will admit that I am wrong."
Jude thought for a moment, agreed, and asked her to go first.
Rose replied, "I'm sorry Jude, I am wrong."
In response, Jude shouts happily, "You're right!"

2. A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting Married?"
Old buddy: Yep!
Senior: Do I know her?"
Old buddy: Nope!
Senior: This woman, is she good looking?
Old buddy: Not really.
Senior: Is she a good cook?
Old buddy: Naw, she can't cook too well.
Senior: Does she have lots of money?
Old buddy: Nope! Poor as a church mouse.
Senior: Well then, is she good in bed?
Old buddy: I don't know.
Senior: Why in the world do you want to marry her then?
Old buddy: Because she can still drive at night!

3. Fred and Tina were thrilled when their long wait to adopt a baby finally came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had an adorable German baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped at the local college so they could enroll in night classes. After they completed filling out the form, the registrar inquired, "What possessed you to study German?"
"We've just adopted a wonderful German baby boy and in a year or so, he'll begin to talk. We want to make sure we're able to understand him!" the couple proudly explained.

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Sunday, August 31, 2008

Naughty Jokes 090108

. Sunday, August 31, 2008 .

1. A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife
in bed with another man.
Guy: Get over it, buddy,It's not the end of the world.
Buddy: It's all right for you to say, but what
if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?"
Ponders for a moment, Guy: I'd break his cane
and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass.

2. Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey,
Pop! What are you doing'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that
gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning."

3. A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast, the guy: Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me. She looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204."

(

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Love Quotes 083108

. Saturday, August 30, 2008 .

1. I told you I'd be the biggest mistake you ever made and you didn't believe me but i said the truth and your the one leaving.
Author: Bleeding Tragedy

2. To keep it in or to let it out?
To tell you I love you, but knowing you don't feel the same?
Should I?
Should I lose my heart again?
Author: Phantom

3. Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it didn't work with anyone else.
Author: Amber is Just here

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Friday, August 29, 2008

Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy 083008

. Friday, August 29, 2008 .

1. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

2. Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.

3. Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain.

Author: John F. Kennedy

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Bar Jokes 082908

. Thursday, August 28, 2008 .

1. After she woke up, a woman told her husband, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?
You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled, The meaning of dreams

2. There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives,
while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then? they asked. She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'.

(

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Text Nessaging Abbreviations 082808

. Wednesday, August 27, 2008 .

1. I cnt hlp bt smyl wen m w/ u - I can't help but smile when i'm with you.

2. F i drnk ol of ur ters, wud u stil fel d pain? - If I drank all of your tears would you still feel the pain?

3. Sumtyms d pipol u towt u knw, bcame sum1 els & 2rn on u - Sometimes the people you thought you knew, become someone else and turn on you.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sexy Dirty Jokes 082708

1. After a passionate night of making love, the guy rolled over, pulled out a stick of cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he then asked the girl on the bed if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," girl said.
He opened the drawer near table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry and asked.
"Is this your husband?" guy inquired nervously.
"No, silly," girl replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" guy said.
"No, not at all," girl nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

2. The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
"We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"

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Monday, August 25, 2008

Sad Love Poems 082608

. Monday, August 25, 2008 .

1. I wanted to tell you to show you,
I never meant to hurt you,
I just wanted you to know,
The way I feel when you're hurting me.
Author: Crazy

2. As the blood runs down her face,
You look at her and wonder
If she's ever hurt this bad.
Author: Tess

3. As you feel the final beats of her heart,
Will you regret letting her go?
Author: Tess

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Famous Quotes: John F. Kennedy


1. All of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea -- whether it is to sail or to watch it -- we are going back from whence we came.

2. We need men who can dream of things that never were.

3. The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.

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Saturday, August 23, 2008

Inspirational Love Quotes 082408

. Saturday, August 23, 2008 .

1. Love is the best medicine, and there is more than enough to go around once you open your heart.
Author: Julie Marie

2. Our true identity is to love without fear and insecurity.
Our higher potential finds us when we set our course in that direction.
The power of love and compassion transforms insecurity.
Author: Doc Childre

3. Love isn't just for the smart of talented, but for all the amimals God created.
Author: Sarah Wonders

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Friday, August 22, 2008

Blonde Jokes 082308

1. A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop. "Oh no!" cried the brunette. "Is he following me?" "Yep," replied the blonde.
"I'm going to drive down this little side road, okay?" said the brunette. "Yep," replied the blonde.
"Is the cop still following me?" "Yep."
"Are his lights on?" "Yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope..."

2. A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"
The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

3. A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river. The brunette wants to get across.
She yells across to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"
The blonde shakes her head and yells back - "People like you really piss me off. You ARE on the other side!"

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Obama text message

. Thursday, August 21, 2008 .

Want to sign-up for Obama text message? GO to OBAMA (62262).

And start receiving periodic updates from the campaign, events and important updates about Barack's public appearances.

Txt STOP if you want to quit, HELP for help or call 877-822-5093.

To receive specific issue updates, text:

HEALTH to OBAMA (62262)
- healthcare policy updates.

- education policy updates.

IRAQ to OBAMA (62262)
- updates on bringing our troops home.

JOBS to OBAMA (62262)
- economic policy updates.

REFORM to OBAMA (62262)
- updates on cleaning up Washington & taking on special interests.

(

Sad Love Poems 082208


1. She may not be the most beautiful girl out there,
but it's that fact that she tries so hard,
smiles although she's hurt and loves you so much,
that makes you just want to hold her tight,
until there's nothing left to hold.

2. When you think about letting go and giving up,
just think about all the reasons,
why you held on for so long.

3. I just wanted to send you a note to ask you to love me.
How can I sleep at night,
with out love holding me?
How can I breathe when my chest is empty?

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Redneck Jokes 082108

1. You might be a redneck if...
Your dog's shots are up to date but your children's aren't.
You use the water in your toilet to bob for apples.
Your whole family sleeps in the same bed.

2. You might be a redneck if...
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.

3. You might be a redneck if...
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sweet Text Messages 082008

. Tuesday, August 19, 2008 .

1. Love doesn't only require love but it requires love with sacrifice.
Author: Krishna

2. Don't look with your eyes for what your heart will find.
Author: Little Lisa

3. I get restless, and its senseless how you never seem to care.
On: Ashley Simpson - Pieces of Me

(

Monday, August 18, 2008

Blonde Jokes 081908

1. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender,
Blind guy: Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says,
Guy: Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
Blind guy: Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

2. Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said
Driver: You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!
Friend: I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her.

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Sad Love Poems 081908


1. You hurt me so much, but i still stuck around.
they say i deserve so much better, but i think to myself, maybe i dont want better.
Author: Lost4life

2. It's easier to just let things take its course,
no use trying to make things happen,
no use putting all you're effort into it,
because in the end,
some things just aren't meant to be.
Author: Desired love

3. You don't know you love someone until you realize they won't be there anymore.
Author: Desired love

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Text Messaging Abbreviations 081708

. Sunday, August 17, 2008 .

1. Luv s tsteless, bt y daz d truth hurts? - Love is tasteless, but why does the truth hurts?

2. Mu msk mst b dat gud, my scars xplaind nothng 2 no 1. - My mask must be that good, my scars explained nothing to no one.

3. Its d way u make me laf wen i dnt evn wnt 2 smyl - Its the way you make me laugh when i dont even want to smile.

(

Friday, August 15, 2008

Funny Jokes 081608

1. I went into the gas station today and asked for five dollars worth of gas.....

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt

2. Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that, he's worried about getting real seasick.
The doctor tells him, "Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."
Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?"
The doctor says,"No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."

3. Q: What's the best thing about turning 65?
A: No more calls from insurance salesmen.

(

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Love Poems 081508

. Thursday, August 14, 2008 .

1. Saying "I moved on" is so easier than acctually doing it.
Author: BrOkEn2mAnYtImEs

2. Here in my heart,
words is not enough;
To say what I feel not even half,
Hear my heartbeat say to you;
I always love you through and through.
Author: Geola Soldivillo

3. I'm staring like there's no tomorrow;
You know what I am thinking of?
Right before your eyes,
I fell inlove with you;
And right before my eyes,
You said you love me too.
Author: Geola Soldivillo

(

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Redneck Jokes 081408

. Wednesday, August 13, 2008 .

1. A redneck walks into a lawyers office and tells him he wants one of them dayvorces.
Lawyer: Well, sir, do you have grounds?
Redneck: Yep. I have me about 150 acres.
Lawyer: No, I mean do you have a case?
Redneck: Nope, but I have me a real nice John Deere."
Lawyer: Well, does she beat you up?
Redneck: Nah, we both get up at 5:30.
Lawyer: Well, is she a nagger?
Redneck: Nope, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want a dayvorce!"

2. A redneck cowboy rides into a town on a hot blistering day riding his horse with his dog following. He ties his horse and the dog under the shade of a tree. The Redneck cowboy goes into the bar for a cold beer.
About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks who owns the dog tied under the tree. The Redneck cowboy tells him that its his.
Policeman: Your dog is in heat.
Redneck cowboy: No way the dogs in heat; he's cool, cause he's tied under the shade of the tree.
Policeman: No, you don't understand, your dog needs to be bred.
Redneck cowboy (shakes his head): No way the dog needs bread, he's not hungry, I gave him beef jerky this morning.
Policeman (finally gets mad): Look, your dog wants to have sex.
Redneck cowboy (looks at the Policeman): Go ahead, I always wanted a police-dog.

(

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Love Poems 081308

. Tuesday, August 12, 2008 .

1. Did you ever think for just one second that maybe, just maybe, I did all the things I do, because I care about you?
Author: Cass

2. Every seconds im not with you is hell, and I fall everytime and I don't know why?
You just keep me guessing;
I guess that's why i love you so much.
Author: Emo Kisses

3. I pray that these days will go by fast, so that it will go slower when I come back to you.
Author: Jessica Meno

(

Monday, August 11, 2008

Naughty Joke 081208

. Monday, August 11, 2008 .

Kissing is a pleasure
F**king is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
He says he loves you, and you believe it is true
Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.
10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months of pain
3 days in hospital, a child without a name
The baby is a b*stard
The mother is a wh*re
This never would have happened if the rubber had not tore.

(

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Love Poem 081108

. Sunday, August 10, 2008 .

1. The guy that every girl wants is that randomn dude you see walking around with his freinds who suddenly stops talking and looks at you and smiles.
Author: Savannah

2. Why does love come back when you're ready to forget?
Why does it continue to grow even if you get badly hurt?
Maybe because, it's just like that;
It always brings out the stupid part in you.
Author: Jha

3. Bed is just a material thing;
Until someone you meet gives it the best meaning.
Author: Jha

(

Friday, August 8, 2008

Funny Jokes 080908

1. R des ur eys, i fund dem betwen my brest. - Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!

2. B frndly w/ ur kds, dey chus ur home wen u r old. - Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

3. Xssesive u's of alcohol cn led 2 a pregnancy. - Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

(

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Bar Jokes 080808

. Thursday, August 7, 2008 .

1. A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one
Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over.
The cop walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why? Was I weaving all over the road officer?"
"No," replied, the cop, "You were driving splendidly.
It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

2. The distressed-looking man had downed several drinks in rapid succession before the bartender asked him, "you trying to drown your sorrows, buddy?"
"you could say that," the guy replied.
"it usually doesn't work, you know."
"no suc*," the man moaned. "i can't even get my wife anywhere near the water!"

(

Text Messaging Abbreviations 080708

1. I12 spnd D nyt w/u - I want to spend the night with you.

2. luvA....I wntU NcyD me agn...soon! - Love you, I want you inside me again... soon.

3. i wsh U wr a door thN i cUd bang yall dy lng - I wish you were a door then, I could bang you all day long.

(

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sexy Text Messages 080608

. Tuesday, August 5, 2008 .

1. You are the fire burning inside of me; you are my passion for life.

2. I want to evoke such a passion within you that leaves us both breathless.

3. Can you come over here and give me a good rub down?

(

Monday, August 4, 2008

Sad Love Poems 080508

. Monday, August 4, 2008 .

We all believe, if only because we must, that love can be found. Some of us - maybe most of us - have discovered it can also be lost.

No one is happy all of the time, but some people feel as if they can never find happiness. Some people feel as if their entire life is devoted to nothing but pain and hurt and loneliness. Every day is a struggle, and every breath a fight for survival. These people have a deep understanding of the word Depression.

(

Angels Messages 080408


Angels can fly because they take things lightly.
Author: Unknown

(

Sunday, August 3, 2008

dirty text messages 080408

. Sunday, August 3, 2008 .

1. When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy.
When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him.
But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he's unzipped.

2. An 80-year-old millionaire man engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old sexy model.
He see his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date.
The doctor looks him over and says, "Bill, you are completely healthy but I must tell you just one thing."
"What's that doc?", asks the millionaire.
"At your age, sex can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take care, it could be really deadly" the doctor said.
Bill thinks for a couple of minute and then says, "What the hell, if she dies, she dies."

(

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Sad Love Poems 080308

. Saturday, August 2, 2008 .

1. What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. I keep thinking of you and I wish on a star that, somewhere, you are thinking of me, too!
Author: Unknown

3. I have found men who didn't know how to kiss.
I've always found time to teach them.
Author: Mae West

(

Friday, August 1, 2008

Blonde Jokes 080208

1. Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde sitting by herself.
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: "No, they spread!"

2. A blonde goes to get her hair cut.
The hair stylist cuts for about 30 minutes, hands the blonde a mirror and asks, "How do you like it?"
The blonde says, "It's okay, but could you make it just a little longer on the back?"

(

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Love Poems 080108

. Thursday, July 31, 2008 .

I have been
Telling my every poem
How cute you are.
But now I am ashamed to tell them

You are disrespectful to
Me, my love, and every poem
I have written so far.
I don't want them to think

I am a liar
I am not
It was you
who set my heart on fire.
Author: Goran Rahim

Broken hearts, love's deceit,
pieces fall down to my feet.
Broken promises, love's a lie,
puddles form from tears I cry.

Broken dreams, love's illusion,
sorrowed cause of your intrusion.
Broken hope, love's a game,
doesn't last, ends the same.

Broken sleep, love's the cause,
digs at me with sharpened claws.
Broken spirit, love of sorrow,
stolen now is my tomorrow.

Broken life, love is lost,
Broken now and that's the cost.
Author: Rachel

(

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Naughty text messages 073108

. Wednesday, July 30, 2008 .

1. Today it's cool to have small cars and small computers. Soon it will be cool to have
a small penis too. Then you, my friend - will be THE MAN!

2. Baby i have an addiction problem.
People say i shud go to rehab but i always tell
them i don't want to go cause im addicted to...

3. Of all the babes you're my selection.
Please don't give me a rejection.
My teeth are clean for your inspection so give my mouth a tongue injection!

(

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Messages abbreviations 073008

. Tuesday, July 29, 2008 .

Full Messages:
1. Is your Dad a terrorist? Cause, you're the bomb.
2. Love you Hon, cannot wait to see you later.

Text Abrebation:
1. S yr dad a terrorist? coz, yr da bomb!
2. Luv U hon, cant w8t2C U l8r

(

Monday, July 28, 2008

New dumb blonde jokes 072908

. Monday, July 28, 2008 .

There're 3 blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. In an instant, she's turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The second woman asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, in an instant she's turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The last blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

(

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sexy Messages 082808

. Sunday, July 27, 2008 .

  1. Nothing is more beautiful to me than you wearing only the moonlight and my kisses.
  2. I can feel the fiery passion of desire begging to be shared in a blissful night of paradise.
  3. When you can count all the stars in the sky; that's when I'll stop wanting you.

(

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Inspirational Messages 072708

. Saturday, July 26, 2008 .

Small minds discuss people;
Average minds discuss events;
Great minds discuss ideas.

(

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Love Text Messages 072508

. Thursday, July 24, 2008 .

It's really hard to go on living while loving someone secretly,
it's hurt to see the one you love happy with someone else,
But the most painful things about hidden love?
It never fades away...
Author: Jenille

(

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Text Message 072408

. Wednesday, July 23, 2008 .

Star light, star bright, make all my wish be possible tonight;
Just don't let my precious love ones bite by big blue bugs tonight;
Good night stars, good night moon, see you again tomorrow night.
Author: Archy Olaybar

(

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Text Messages 072308

. Tuesday, July 22, 2008 .

Nights are the best time to be peaceful,
to ponder on things,
to appreciate life,
to plan your day,
to Thankful God for all the blessings you received :)

Author: Rushtine Guegera

(

Monday, July 21, 2008

Jokes of the Day 072208

In a hospital room, there was a man resting on the bed with an oxygen mask on.
When the nurse came in the room to open the blinds, the man asked her, "Are my testicles black?"
To which she replied, "I do not know... I am only here to open the blinds." The man asked her again, "Are my testicles black?" And he kept asking until he got on her nerves so much, that she finally unzipped his hospital gown, looked down there, checked under them, and said,
"They are fine." With a confused look on his face, he took of his mask, and shouted, "I SAID, ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?"
Authors: Olive & Maria

Do you know why nurses make the worst lovers?
Because they’re taught to wait until the swelling goes down.
Authors: John Franklin

Two student nurses were arguing about who would be forced to give an old wrinkly man a sponge bath,. "you do it..."
The one student said. "No..u do it"...
The patient watched them through the glass window and thought: "I hope those two guys are not fighting over my wrinkled balls".
Authors: Sefra

(

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Famous Quotes 072108

. Sunday, July 20, 2008 .

The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does.
No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies.
Author: Daisy Bates

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.
Author: Christopher Darlington Morley

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
Author: Mark Twain

(

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Joke of the Day 071808

Two men are sharing a hospital room.

"What are you in for?" The first man says.

"I'm getting a circumcision," his roommate replies.

"Demn!" exclaims the first man, "I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"

(

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Love Poems 071708

. Wednesday, July 16, 2008 .

When all the songs are over
and all the words been said
The sun grows dim across the sky
and the world prepares for bed

I oft can take a moment now
to view the sky above
and whisper God a simple prayer
to thank him for your love.

Author: C.S. Bucknam

(

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Love Poem 071608

. Tuesday, July 15, 2008 .

What was once a blissful symphony,
is now a wistful melody,
beneath a gloomy, twilit sky,
I watch the night pass by.

I feel the icy, sure embrace,
of which I'm now encased,
since the dawn of your leave,
I'm doomed to forever freeze.

I find my place in a flowerbed,
as I slowly lay my head,
I wait for deaths sweet, sweet kiss,
as I freeze in the arms of loneliness.

Author: Danny Fernandez

(

Monday, July 14, 2008

Joke of the day 071508

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,

"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

Author: Unknown

(

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Sad Love Poems 071408

. Sunday, July 13, 2008 .

Leave me alone and stay away
I don't need you to say everything will be okay
You don't understand and you never will
You've never felt my fears
And your pain will never over fill
You will never shed as much tears
So stay away and leave me be
If you could just open your eyes and see
Things won't ever be the same
So just go the way yo came
And forever stay away!

Author: Jamie

(

Friday, July 11, 2008

Love Poems b4-b6

. Friday, July 11, 2008 .

b4: To friends at home, the lone, the admired, the lost
The gracious old, the lovely young, to May
The fair, December the beloved,
These from my blue horizon and green isles,
These from this pinnacle of distances I,
The unforgetful, dedicate.
Author: Robert Louis Stevenson

b5: Run away with me
For you are my one true love.
Let's go where we can be together
And stay that way forever.
Author: Silentx Thoughtz

b6: The miles are many,
The visits are few,
but when you see the sun set think of me and you.
Author: Jessa

(

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Short joke of the Day

b1: There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy, but then happy got out so they started feeling grumpy instead!

b2: A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".

He never heard the shot..

(

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Love Poems a447-a449

. Tuesday, July 8, 2008 .

a447: If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.
- Unknown.

a448: The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
- Unknown.

a449: What I needed most was to love and to be loved, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me; and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers or jealousy, by suspicions and fear, by burst of anger and quarrels.
- St. Augustine.

(

Monday, July 7, 2008

Joke Of The Day 07/07/08

a444: There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'

a445: Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

a446: Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

(

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Love Poems a441-a443

. Sunday, July 6, 2008 .

a441: One day you will come running back & i won't know what to say i'll just fall to the ground & cry.
- Homo face.

a442: I swear you're an angel,
When i thought i was dead inside,
You brought me back to life.
- Lyrical Lover.

a443: Someone asked why I was rubbing my hands,
I told them they were cold, because i miss
the hands that fit perfectly with mine.
- Linh.

(

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Joke Of The Day 07/05/08

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

(

Friday, July 4, 2008

Love Poems a438-a440

. Friday, July 4, 2008 .

a438: I had to let you go because i want you to find someone who loves you the way you deserve.
- He's Mine.

a439: I don't believe in second chances, but i truly think we could make it work..
- He's Mine.

a440: If you love someone don't put their name in a heart but a circle because a heart can break and a circle goes on for life!
- Joyce.

(

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Joke Of The Day 07/03/08

Air Force One comes in for a landing at the airport. A ramp is wheeled up and President Clinton appears carrying a pig under each arm.

As he comes down the ramp, the Marine at the bottom snaps to a salute.

Clinton says, "You'll have to excuse me. I can't return your salute. My hands are full."

"Yes Sir. I see the pigs Sir!" responds the Marine.

"Now hold on," says Clinton. "These aren't just pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks."

"Yes Sir! Razorbacks Sir!" says the Marine.

"I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary," Clinton explains.

The Marine answers, "Yes Sir! An excellent trade if I may say so myself Sir!"

(

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Love Poems a435-a437

. Wednesday, July 2, 2008 .

a435: I think someone needs to sue Disney for making girls believe that there's a prince charming in this world
- Refuse2Giveup.

a436: I don't want to love you today. I don't want to love you tomorrow, or next week... I want to love you forever.

And i will...
- Andrew.

a437: Loving someone doesn't mean that we have to be together, as long as you know my feeling for you; as long as you feel happy, that's already satisfy... coz i only want you to be happy.
- Joyce.

(

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Sexy Text Messages a432-a434

. Tuesday, July 1, 2008 .

a432: A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
- Eddie.

a433: A teacher asks a pupil which part of the body goes to heaven first, the pupil replies "legs miss! i’ve seen my mum with her legs in the air sreaming GOD IM F*CKING C*MING!!!"
- nicey.

a434: What are the three wonders of women? They produce milk without grazing, bleed for seven days, a mounth without dying, and bury a bone deeper than a dog without getting thier nose dirty.
- nicey.

(

Monday, June 30, 2008

Joke Of The Day

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Mom saw the opportunity for a moral lesson and said; "If Jesus was sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait. "Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you can have the first chance at being Jesus!"

(

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Joke Of The Day 06/30/08

. Sunday, June 29, 2008 .

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.
A back scratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.
A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.
A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.
A bird in the hand is dead.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

(

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Love Poems a429-a431

. Saturday, June 28, 2008 .

a429: Love might be impossible to find
but once you find it, it'll always be on your mind.
- Fabiola Marquez.

a430: Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.
- Robert Sexton.

a431: Always shattered, never open, nothing matters when your broken, that was me whenever i was with you.
Always ending, always over, back and forth, up and down like a roller coaster, i am breaking that habit, today.
- Its a crazy life but i'm alright.

(

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Love Poems a426-a428

. Thursday, June 26, 2008 .

a426: And when I wake,
I'm right here by your side,
To feel your heart beat in and out of time
- La La xx Bethh.

a427: When i see you smiling just because he is smiling, it erupts a storm in my heart;
i am shattered every time i see you holding his hands, but it is all that i could do to prove... that I LOVE YOU.
- bryan.

a428: Do you feel like you've lost everything you can lose?
This is it, can you hear me?
When you cry do your tears ever choke the room?
Calling out every moment of need.
- Angels & Airwaves.

(

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Joke Of The Day 06/25/08

. Wednesday, June 25, 2008 .

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror;

Woman: "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
Husband: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".

He never heard the shot.

(

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Sexy Text Messages a426-a428

. Tuesday, June 24, 2008 .

a426: A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.

They searched them and took the guy’s wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl.

When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter; "Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?"

"No Papa," replied the girl with a grin, "I managed to hide it when they were searching you."

"Hide it? where?" asked the guy," I saw them search you too."

"I slipped it into my... a... my . . .um.... pee pee place." said the girl shyly.

"Damn!" swore the guy, "If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!!"
- Rabiul.

a427: Just after World War 2, a reporter was interviewing the head nun of a monastery in Italy regarding her experiences during the war.

"Oh it was terrible, terrible." She cried, "First the Italians raped us all except sister Matilda. Then the Germans raped us all except sister Matilda and then the Americans raped us all except sister Matilda."

"Oh I’m so sorry, it must be very difficult for you." replied the reporter, "But I’m curious, you said they all raped you except sister Matilda. Why didn’t anyone rape sister Matilda?"

"Oh sister Matilda," said the nun, wiping her eye, "She’s not interested in that sort of thing."
- Rabiul.

a428: Two guys John and Eddie were fishing by the banks of a lake. John was catching fish after fish but Eddie was not even getting a nibble.

Finally exasperated, Eddie asked John, "Hey, how come you’re getting so many fish and I’m not getting anything? What am I doing wrong?"

"What are you using for bait?" Asked John.

"Just regular bait, worms." Replied Eddie.

"Man, fish don’t eat worms these days." said John, "You gotta use the right kind of bait to catch fish now a days."

"What are they eating then?" asked Eddie curiously.

"Pussy man, pure pussy meat." said John with a grin.

"Pussy meat? Where’d you get it from?"

"Well, I know a guy who works in the morgue and whenever they get a dead body of a girl, he collects the pussy and sells it to me as fish bait." Explained John, "And man it works like magic. Fish can’t seem to get enough of it."

"Hmm..." said Eddie with a frown, "But I notice you keep sniffing the bait before you put it on the hook. Do you really have to smell the pussy?"

"" replied John with a grin, "The guy from the morgue, he’s a real crook. Every now and then he tries to slip in an asshole."
- Rabiul.

(

Monday, June 23, 2008

Love Poems a423-a425

. Monday, June 23, 2008 .

a423: If I were peanut butter you would be jelly;
If I were a rose you would be the pettles;
If I were the fat kid you would be the food;
If I were Piglet you would be pooh;
but most of all If I were me I would love you;
because you are you.
- sabrina.

a424: I know I should be happy, because he loves me too.
But what kills me is the fact he said we cannot be together because of the distance.
- Adriana.

a425: I can wish for the Sun, Moon, and the Stars; All I can see heavenly. But above all them I will only wish for you and for me that is Heaven!
- LoveNLife.

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Sunday, June 22, 2008

Famous Quotes a420-a422

. Sunday, June 22, 2008 .

a420: My indignation, like th' imprisoned fire,
Pent in the troubled breast of glowing Etna,
Burnt deep and silent.
- Thomson.

a421: If anger is not restrained, it is frequently more hurtful to us, than the injury that provokes it.
- Seneco.

a422: O that my tongue were in the thunder's mouth!
Then with a passion would I shake the world.
- Shakespeare.

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Friday, June 20, 2008

Joke Of The Day 06/20/08

. Friday, June 20, 2008 .

Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Love Poems a417-a419

. Thursday, June 19, 2008 .

a417: Guys only want one thing, to get in your bed;
Girls only want one thing, to get in your heart.
- Lemon Square Bear23.

a418: We were given two legs to walk
two hands to hold
two ears to listen
two eyes to see
but only one heart
because the other one was given
to someone else
for you to find.
- Refuse to give up.

a419: A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather.
I was praying that you and me might end up together, but its like wishing for rain as i stand in the desert.
- mszbeautifulx3.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Sexy Text Messages a414-a416

. Wednesday, June 18, 2008 .

a414: We have had some fun times together. Remember when we were drivin and i stuck my ass out of the window and you stuck your head out and people thought we were twins?
- louise.

a415: You are in a car at a constant speed. on your left is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you while in front of you is a galloping pig the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it and behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level also doing the same speed as you. How do you get out of this dangerous situation?
ANSWER: Get off the kids merry go round you piss-head.
- louise.

a416: If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse?

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Monday, June 16, 2008

Love Poems a411-a413

. Monday, June 16, 2008 .

a411: Living without you was not a choice, as you didn't let me choose ,but you did.
- Goth marionette.

a412: You can never find the right person
if you don't let go of the wrong
but at the same time
the moment you feel like letting you
you remember why you held on for so long.
- Ariana.

a413: It is hard to pretend to love a person when you do not;
but,it is even harder to pretend not to love a person when you really do.
- Refuse2Giveup.

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Fathers Day Text Messages a408-a410

. Saturday, June 14, 2008 .

a408: To My Father

It matters not that Time has shed
His thaw less snow upon your head,
For he maintains, with wondrous art,
Perpetual summer in your heart.
- William Hamilton Hayne

a409: None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of such a Father who has not his equal in this world - so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don't be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal.
- Queen Victoria of England.

a410: Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.
- Unknown.

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Fathers Day Text Messages a405-a407

a405: A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.

Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get home
When all else falls apart.

Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She will always find him there.

a406: Our fathers toil with hands and heart
To make our lives complete.
They quietly brave the winter cold,
Endure the summer heat.

Our fathers' lives are busy, but
There's always time for us.
They boldly face the ups and downs
And seldom ever fuss.

Our fathers are the greatest dads.
We know you know this, too.
But thank you for the chance to share
Our love for them with you.

a407: A Father means so many things...
A understanding heart,
A source of strength and of support
Right from the very start.
A constant readiness to help
In a kind and thoughtful way.
With encouragement and forgiveness
No matter what comes your way.
A special generosity and always affection, too
A Father means so many things
When he's a man like you.

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Fathers Day Text Messages a402-a404

. Thursday, June 12, 2008 .

a402: You mean so much to me i can not even explain, but the only thing i know i could tell you is that " I Love you Daddy"

a403: God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad.

a404: If all these Kisses are not enough,
There is two hands to help with garden stuff.
If all these hugs don't work their charm,
There is two arms to help keep you warm.
If this gift does not show how much we care,
We have REAL hugs and kisses to share!

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Famous Quotes a399-a401

. Wednesday, June 11, 2008 .

a399: To be angry, is to revenge the fault of others upon ourselves.
- Pope.

a400: The intoxication of anger, like that of the grape, shows us to others, but hides us from ourselves and we injure our own cause, in the opinion of the world, when we too passionately and eagerly defend it.
- Colton.

a401: When a man is wrong and won't admit it, he always gets angry.
- Haliburton.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Love Poems a396-a398

. Tuesday, June 10, 2008 .

a396: I will put the earphones on my ears and turn the volume down. I will pretend that I do not hear you as you finally say what you really think of me.
- Belle.

a397: Love is when u cannot pay attention in class because u are too busy writing your first name with his last.
- Inlove.

a398: Some hearts are broken and mended, others are shattered or torn, although it was never intended. For love is eternally sworn.
I have cried and prayed and pleaded for that love to hold its ground hope was all I needed and pain was all I found.
- Inlove.

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Sunday, June 8, 2008

Sexy Text Messages a393-a395

. Sunday, June 8, 2008 .

a393: A Lebanese guy named Elias walks into a pharmacy and asks for a box of tissue papers. The pharmacist comes out and gives him a huge box of tissue papers. Elias says I do not want this huge box I only want a small one. The pharmacist says that is all right it is for the same price take it as it is subsidized by Hariri, a former Lebanese prime minister assassinated in 2005. So Elias takes it and walks away. The second day Elias returns to the pharmacy and asks for a tube of tooth paste. The pharmacist comes out and gives him an enormous tube of tooth paste. Elias says I do not want this enormous tube I only want a small one. The pharmacist says that is alright it is for the same price take it as it is subsidized by Hariri. So Elias takes it and walks away. The third day Elias returns to the pharmacy and stands outside, the pharmacist notices him, he comes out and says why don’t you come in, Elias says I am afraid, the pharmacist says, come in, there is no problem, how can I help you. Elias says I am afraid and ashamed today I need a condom.
- Gino.

a394: Jimmy goes to see his computer genius friend Charlie, in his office. The first thing he notices is a really sexy looking secretary who leads him into Charlie’s room. Charlie is busy working on his computer.

"Hey Charlie, how ya doing my man?" He says, "When did you hire your new secretary? She is hot."

"Oh I did not hire her, I actually developed her." replies Charlie, still working on his computer, "She is a robot."

"Are you serious?" says Jimmy with a whistle, "She moves and talks just like a real girl."

"Yeah, and that is not all. She makes coffee, does my filing and I can fuck her all I want." replies Charlie with a smile, "In fact, you can take her to the next room and give her a fuck yourself. She is really good."

"Yowza!" Laughs Jimmy and taking the secretary hand, he drags her into the next room, intent on fucking the daylights out of her. Soon afterwards, there is a loud scream from Jimmy.

"Oh Hell," Says Charlie, "I forgot to tell him her asshole is a pencil sharpener."
- Rabiul.

a395: Two doctors meet at a bar during a major medical conference, one male and one female. They both talk and one thing leads to another and both doctors were in a hotel room. Before undressing the female doctor washed her hands, after sex with the male doctor she washed her hands again. The Male doctor says "Let me guess, you are a surgeon." The female doctors asks "How would you know?" The guy goes "You keep washing your hands." The female doctor replies, "You must be an anesthesiologist." The guy doc asks "How would you know?" The lady replies, "Because I did not feel a thing."
- Ann.

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Friday, June 6, 2008

Love Poems a390-a392

. Friday, June 6, 2008 .

a390: Never hesitate on an opportune moment because you may never get another one like it or somebody else may just bloody take it!
- Ahmed Ali.

a391: I'm Finally Ready To Give Everything To You
And Now You're Putting Up A Fight.
- Unknown.

a392: Never make a man a priorty when he only makes you an option; fall in love with somneone who deserves your love.
- shannel.

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Thursday, June 5, 2008

Sexy Text Messages a387-a389

. Thursday, June 5, 2008 .

a387: A guy gets onto an elevator and begins to ride down to the lobby of his building. Half way down the elevator stops and a beautiful woman gets on. After a few seconds the man leans over and asks the lady, "Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "No!", rages the woman. "Oh" replies the man, "It must be your feet."
- kirk.

a388: Bill Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell. At Hell’s gate, he meets Satan. Satan tells Clinton that Hell is full, but that Clinton will be given the choice of who he will REPLACE forever in Hell.

Three doors appear before Clinton. The first door opens. Behind the door is Jeffrey Dahmer. He’s being worked over with a blow torch. Upon seeing Jeff in this predicament, Clinton cringes and says "That looks painful. I don’t think this is for me."

The second door opens. Behind door #2 is Ted Kennedy. His skin is being stripped off with a pair of pliers. Grimacing at the bloody scene, Clinton again says "I don’t think this is for me."

The third door opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He is naked and bound hand and foot. Kneeling before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. "I can handle that!" Clinton proclaims enthusiastically.

"Very well," says Satan. "Monica, you may go."
- Darxtar.

a389: A couple was having money problems... they were sitting down at the table eating supper, when the wife said... "I know... you could stop buying 3 24’s of beer every week"... the husband says... "no no I can’t do that, but what about you.... you spend like one hundred dollars on makeup a month you could give that up".... she says, "but dear... that’s to make me look pretty". The husband looks at her and says, "what the fuck do you think the beer is for".
- chikie.

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