Sexy Text Messages a387-a389

a387: A guy gets onto an elevator and begins to ride down to the lobby of his building. Half way down the elevator stops and a beautiful woman gets on. After a few seconds the man leans over and asks the lady, "Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?" "No!", rages the woman. "Oh" replies the man, "It must be your feet."
- kirk.

a388: Bill Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell. At Hell’s gate, he meets Satan. Satan tells Clinton that Hell is full, but that Clinton will be given the choice of who he will REPLACE forever in Hell.

Three doors appear before Clinton. The first door opens. Behind the door is Jeffrey Dahmer. He’s being worked over with a blow torch. Upon seeing Jeff in this predicament, Clinton cringes and says "That looks painful. I don’t think this is for me."

The second door opens. Behind door #2 is Ted Kennedy. His skin is being stripped off with a pair of pliers. Grimacing at the bloody scene, Clinton again says "I don’t think this is for me."

The third door opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He is naked and bound hand and foot. Kneeling before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. "I can handle that!" Clinton proclaims enthusiastically.

"Very well," says Satan. "Monica, you may go."
- Darxtar.

a389: A couple was having money problems... they were sitting down at the table eating supper, when the wife said... "I know... you could stop buying 3 24’s of beer every week"... the husband says... "no no I can’t do that, but what about you.... you spend like one hundred dollars on makeup a month you could give that up".... she says, "but dear... that’s to make me look pretty". The husband looks at her and says, "what the fuck do you think the beer is for".
- chikie.