Bar Jokes 080808

1. A man is out, driving happily along in his car late one
Saturday evening. Before too long, the cops pull him over.
The cop walks up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why? Was I weaving all over the road officer?"
"No," replied, the cop, "You were driving splendidly.
It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away."

2. The distressed-looking man had downed several drinks in rapid succession before the bartender asked him, "you trying to drown your sorrows, buddy?"
"you could say that," the guy replied.
"it usually doesn't work, you know."
"no suc*," the man moaned. "i can't even get my wife anywhere near the water!"