Scary Text Messages 110108

1. The poor Mexican was laying on his death bed with only hours to live. Suddenly he smelled the tamales he loved so dearly. So the terminally ill man pulled himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen. There his wife was removing a fresh batch from the stove top. As he reached for one, his wife smacked him on the head with a spoon, “Leave them alone! They’re for your funeral.”

2. It was d cremation of the
grandma of a child. All
relatives stood in silence.
Everybody was silent til the child
suddenly asked out of curiosity…

“ma, hindi pa ba luto si lola?”

3. A guy walks into a library and says to the prim librarian, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have books on suicide?” To which, she stops her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Fuck off, you bugger, you won’t bring it back!”