Obama Funny Jokes 112908

1. Question: What's the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
Answer: His followers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

2. Question: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
Answer: Deductible.

3. Question: What's the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Obama?
Answer: Obama's nose doesn't grow when he lies.

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Obama Funny Jokes 112808

1. Question: What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
Answer: The check.

2. Question: Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
Answer: The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

3. Question: Why does Barack want higher taxes?
Answer: Cause he won’t be the one paying them.

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Obama Funny Jokes 112708

1. Question: Why is Barack Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
Answer: She the one with the cojones.

2. Question: Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
Answer: It will only have a left wing.

3. Question: What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
Answer: Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

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Love Quotes 112608

1. The girl in the photo with the fairy dress on, But now its just a memory, That child is long gone.

2. He's not the best looking, he's not the smartest guy in the world, he can be a jerk sometimes, but for some reason.
I don't care.
He's different.
I love him.

3. It's funny how one day, he can be the one person I hate the most.
Then the next day, I would love him so much, I wouldnt ever think of letting him go.

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Sad Text Messages 112508

1. It's hard to get past things that you want to forget.
But it's even harder to get past the things that you don't wanna forget.

2. After all he has done to me i still want him to change,love me,and for us to be together again and this time stay together.

3. It's not easy to hold the right love at the wrong time but its harder to let go of the right love because you are holding the wrong love at the right time!

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Broken Heart Love Text Messages 112208

1. The greatest pain that comes with love is loving someone you can't have.

2. If your heart is the strongest muscle of the body, why does it break so easily?

3. Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.

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Love Text Messages 112108

1. Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

2. We had our good times and I won't ever forget them
We made our bad choices but I won't ever regret them
It's like a life lesson learn from these and move on
Even when it's hard it's something that you got to do

3. God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give Him all the pieces.

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Love Text Messages 112008

1. Remember who you are , take a picture and post it on your wall, Because when you meet someone and change for them.
You'll need that picture to rebuild yourself when that someone leaves you... and you feel like no one.

2. When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.

3. Baby, all I do is try
To show you
That you're my
One and only guy
No matter
Who may come along
Open your eyes
Cuz baby, I don't lie.

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Sad Love Poems 111908

1. Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

2. It's so strange how things work. The things you try and hold on to, they're the first to go. And all the things you try and throw away, They stay!

3. I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

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Sad Love Poems 111808

1. I'm waiting here for you to realize
No one will love you the way I do,
You say all the words I want to hear
But your actions make me wonder
How many others hear those same words

2. Before you were just a dream that I had the kind of dream everyone said I would never wake up to then one night I fell asleep and woke up to a dream come true which was you.

3. You make me feel like dancing in the rain oh baby you make me feel like screaming out your name.

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Sad Text Messages 111708

1. It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

2. And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do.

3. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

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Obama Funny Jokes 111408

1. Question: Why is Barack Obama so thin and scrawny?
Answer: If he were any heavier he wouldn’t be able to walk on water.

2. Question: Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because Carter doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.

3. "Barack Obama's two daughters are very excited, because I guess Barack Obama promised the kids that after the election he's going to get them a dog. That's the thing, they're all excited, he's going to get them a dog after the election. And the good news -- Jesse Jackson has offered to neuter it, so I think that's terrific." - Jay Leno

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Sad Text Messages 111308

1. You told me, you don't have any regrets the time she left you nor you cry but I just smiled because the fact is I don't believe you because while you slept at my side you cry and whisper "Does she still remember me.

2. It's not easy to hope for nothing, it's hard to love someone, who loved someone else. And it's not easy to play a hero in a life of someone who doesn't care you even a little, but most of all it's not easy to get hurt because you don't have right to.

3. Once you told me that you love me, and you will never left me ... and you're ready to wait me but I just gone for a while but you were already with someone else, tears fall because you're so unfair because just love me when she's not around.

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Obama Funny Jokes 111308

1. Question: Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
Answer: It was ours.

2. Question: Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.

3. Question: Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
Answer: Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.

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Sweet Text Messages 111308

1. Love is like a roller coaster. it has its ups and downs, twists and turns but at the end you are next to the person who means the most.

2. The funny thing is... I can hug guys that I don't like.
I can talk to guys that I don't like. I can flirt with guys I don't like.
But when it comes to you, I can't do any of it... it's not that I don't like you, it's just I blank out.

3. Why every time we get hurt we always pretend that we are fine. We always showed to others that we are ok but when we are alone in room we do nothing rather than cry and long that he's still in your side.

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Obama Funny Jokes 111208

1. Question: What do Obama and Osama have in common?
Answer: They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

2. Question: Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
Answer: It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.

3. Question: Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
Answer: He thought Barry sounded too American.

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Obama Funny Jokes 111108

1. "Barack Obama, apparently, is so popular in the African town where his father was born that they've named a beer after him there. Isn't that cool? Yeah. The Obama beer is called a 'Black and Tan and Asian and Caucasian.' A complicated drink." --Conan O'Brien

2. "What a historic night. The first time an actual black person is leading the charge for a major American political party. I think that says something pretty great about America: we will accept a black man to lead us if the only other choice is a woman." –Bill Maher

3. "Italy is designing clothing based on how Barack Obama dresses. And I said, well, yes, that will connect him with the angry working-class voters." –David Letterman

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Obama Funny Jokes 110908

1. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He accidently smoked it.

2. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: Hillary Clinton won't give it back to him.

3. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He wants to surprise us at his swearing in.

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Obama Funny Jokes 110808

1. Question: What's the difference between Obama bin Biden and Osama bin Laden?
Answer: With Obama bin Biden you get two for the price of one.

2. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: He's deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.

3. Question: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
Answer: The ink isn't dry yet.

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Sad Text Messages 110408

1. Why do we ignore the ones who adore us and then adore the ones who ignore us?
Why love the ones who hurt us and then Hurt the ones who love us?

2. Here I am in the darkness once again... Getting hurt... But still clinging on to the hope that one day you'll love me back.

3. Why would you rather love her if you know she's going to hurt you, and reject me when you know I'd give anything for you?

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Inspirational Text Messages 110308

1. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

2. A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

3. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

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Halloween Text Messages 110208

1. Q: What do witches eat at Halloween?
A: Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie!

2. Q: What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?
A: No one moved, they couldn't stir without her!

3. Q: Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
A: It was for "tick or tweet"!

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Scary Text Messages 110108

1. The poor Mexican was laying on his death bed with only hours to live. Suddenly he smelled the tamales he loved so dearly. So the terminally ill man pulled himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen. There his wife was removing a fresh batch from the stove top. As he reached for one, his wife smacked him on the head with a spoon, “Leave them alone! They’re for your funeral.”

2. It was d cremation of the
grandma of a child. All
relatives stood in silence.
Everybody was silent til the child
suddenly asked out of curiosity…

“ma, hindi pa ba luto si lola?”

3. A guy walks into a library and says to the prim librarian, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have books on suicide?” To which, she stops her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Fuck off, you bugger, you won’t bring it back!”

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