Dirty Text messages

a family of 3 prossies live togetherthe mum charges £30 4 a bj the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink
jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jill's fanny, but poor jack's gob was filled with knob cos jill's a fuckin tranny!
Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples.
Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!
sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test??
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I'll lick U clean.
The fanny poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell!
sex is good
sex is class
whip me baby
spank my arse
doggy style 69
lick me out
make me smile
if u want me in the sac
lick ur lips and txt me back
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
After great sex she lies there stroking his *beep*, he looks at her and asks if she wants more sex, she looks back at him and says "no im just admirin ur *beep* cuz i really miss mine"
John & Jim were having anal sex when John says "I've AIDS". "Dear God" cries Jim. "Only messing says John, I just love the way u tighten your arse when I say it"
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!
The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5 kg. Scientists have yet 2 work out the average weight of a cunt. So if u could pop on the scales and ring me back..
When I was a girl I had a little quim. I sat upon my bed one nite & put a finger in. Now I'm a woman and full of grace & Charm. I can get 4 fingers in & half my FUCKING arm
oral sex can be so fine
when ur in a 69
u start 2 moan
shake & quiver
til u cum like a river
when ur done
don't be insane
just wipe ur knob & start again
What's the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still
sucks after five years!